#harry is absolutely and angry kid and definitely got into fights and had no friends

[variousqueerthings]

i do think that specifically david tennant being very openly supportive of the trans community has had an interesting effect -- because usually im kinda like "it is nice to know that people whose work i enjoy don't want me dead" and that's kinda my level of (at this point) quite cynical engagement with what a celebrity or artist does or does not think about transness, because these days it feels like it's almost fashionable for well-known (or post-well-known) people to come out of the wordwork and say what they think about trans people, which can get very stressful in its own way (the amount of headlines that try to be misleading or just plain don't say and so you're just like "ok i guess this week i have to find out if [spins wheel] thinks i deserve rights")

but david tennant has a different feeling to it. and to be fair, there are plenty of people with skin in the game, who absolutely deserve to and ought to speak out on behalf of their children/partners/community/friends/family/etc. and im always happy to see these people speak, and dt is included in that list as well

but david tennant is veeery specific in this here country of terf island, in which the labour party will openly state that it will allow certain book writers to affect their policies on trans people, and that's partly because of the effect above in which "having opinions on trans rights seems to be a celebrity game that keeps you relevant, which includes ex prime minister tony blair making his opinion known (hint, it wasn't a good one)" but also because david tennant is known as a national icon to rival that of whatsherface

he was the main actor on doctor who, in the top three, if not very top of british broadcasting iconography that exists. he's one of this generation's most famous shakespearian actors, the other thing that this country-as-culture is most proud of. he's a mainstay in children's film and tv, a standout in modern british crime drama (broadchurch, des), and that's not mentioning things like jessica jones, good omens, and star wars

this guy has no social media, and some of the biggest cultural capital in the uk today -- labour i believe it was made a twitter joke about him ousting the current prime minister as the doctor ahead of this week's election, because that's an iconic scene from doctor who

which means that when he openly calls transphobes whingy and asks them to shut up, there's a bit of a ripple... i mean what are you gonna do, get angry with the doctor? from doctor who??? the man who played a definitive hamlet????? the man who's just done rave reviewed performances of macbeth???? scrooge mcduck????????? this man who occasionally guests on cbeebies???????????

said prime minister and his party and hosts of transphobes go absolutely crazy every time he makes an appearance wearing new trans ally apparel, as if a. he sees any of that and b. it's a dignified response to a man saying, in essence, "i would like my kid to be safe and happy"

david tennant constantly making these statements, again and again, is a powerful voice in the modern fight for trans rights in the UK, in some ways unfortunately, because you wish trans people could have been heard before it got to this state and that it wasn't about being famous, but to be fair, he's also making that point again and again

it kind of feels like the first time in a long time that there's been proper pushback against transphobia in this country from a perspective that the transphobes can't dismiss so easily -- they can try but like. again, one side is a bunch of raving nonsense-spouters on a joke website who mostly belong to a party that's about to get decidedly ousted from the political scene, the other is beloved national icon and star of stage and screen, mr david tennant

of course, it doesn't hurt that the three main actors of harry potter and everyone else who's majorly involved in doctor who, past and present, is also supportive of trans rights, which maybe there's a separate point to be made about the strangeness of a mainstream tv show becoming a cultural battleground for peoples opinions on equal rights, especially now with ncuti gatwa at the helm, because i think some of what ive seen in relation to dw is more extreme than any piece of cultural media ive been alive to witness bigoted reactions to (including star trek), and ncuti gatwa as a black queer man is taking a hell of a lot of flack that is racist and homophobic

but labour... if you're inviting random artists to give you opinions on trans rights, david tennant is right there, and you know he'd make sure to bring along trans rights activists and professionals to get the space in the room they ought to have had all along

[aroaceleovaldez]

Your blog is the only blog where I feel safe enough asking this question. What do you think of Percy Jackson fans who feel as though they and the series have a moral superiority to Harty Potter ? Obviously, Harry Potter and its author are laden with questionable and sometimes straight-up hateful takes and views. But the way PJO fans constantly compare the two, its authors (even though RR is far from flawless), and the two MCs (ignoring how the two both share similarities in the fact that they are both traumatised, abused, angry teenage boys). I'm sorry that this ask got so long, but this has been annoying me for a while now.

This is an interesting question - for one, fandom fights over superiority is a concept that has been around for ages and has never been constructive. PJO and HP fandoms have been fighting in that exact way (and it has gone both ways!) for literal decades (remember, PJO turns 20 this year) so this isn't new, it's just taken on a moral flavor. Let's go over some things though (but please keep in mind i never got into HP and never read the books or fully watched the movies so my knowledge of HP is primarily pop culture absorption/secondhand from my family and friends):

Are either series perfect? No. HP absolutely is full of hateful sentiments and JKR is a hateful person and I do not respect her for that. Disney's marketing recently has absolutely fully leaned into trying to put Rick above her as a moral paragon and emphasizing how progressive he is and his support of diversity in middle grade series, despite some failings to reflect that in the actual text. Are Rick and JKR equally bad? Definitely not. Rick has had tangible good influence on adhd/dyslexia awareness that very directly impacted people like me as a neurodivergent kid going through school in the 2000s. JKR meanwhile has directly negatively impacted trans laws internationally very recently.

Rick absolutely isn't perfect, but he's vocally supportive, has made a lot of effort in the past to be inclusive, and still attempts to do so. Most of his issues simply stem from his own unaddressed internalized bigotry/biases and his research on varying topics not being great (plus poor management decisions such as not hiring a sensitivity reader actually fit for the story he's trying to tell). But he's not hateful. JKR is. JKR is very vocally hateful and bigoted and this is absolutely reflected in her work as well even in earlier HP. They are comparable in that they are both middle grade authors of easily two of the most popular middle grade fantasy (or specifically hidden world fantasy) series out right now. They are not equivalent in the slightest in their bigotry or tangible damage.

In terms of Percy versus Harry, I personally don't think they're very comparable. They share some similarities, but mostly just in that they're both the protagonists of their stories and thus serve protagonist purposes. Beyond that their use within the narrative is pretty different functionally. Their worlds' magic systems are not comparable. The hidden world aspect in both their universes isn't even comparable, since in PJO the "hidden world" aspect is very different from most hidden world fantasy formats because the entire point is that it's functionally not a hidden world. The characters themselves are very different as well - Percy's personality and the way he behaves and reacts to his environment is absolutely nothing like Harry's.

Most of the anti-HP-in-general sentiments stem from wanting to cut off JKR's notoriety, which I think is valid to want to do. And I do think there are a lot of issues with continuing to support JKR's work especially in ways that functionally promote her work or support her financially. Obviously, we will never be able to scrub HP from the cultural zeitgeist. It's just not feasible and I'm very anti-book burning so I do think it's important to acknowledge the role HP has had in pop-culture alongside acknowledging its harmful materials. HP is a text you absolutely can't death-of-the-author your way out of because a lot of the vitriol is baked into the text and worldbuilding in very overt ways - and there are plenty of other pop-culture staple novels like this. But fandom in general, at least true fandom and not mainstream fandom, is so obscure most of the time that I don't think, so long as people are not ignoring negative themes of the source material and are being thoughtful as they navigate engaging with it, that it is an inherently bad thing for HP fandom to just exist at all. It's never going to just stop existing no matter what people do. And HP fandom are not the only ones who should be thoughtful about how they engage with their source material - PJO fandom is not exempt from examining some of the problematic aspects in our own text and figuring out how to be respectful with those topics. It's just a lot easier for PJO fandom to tune it out without it being noticed because there's less of it and it's (at least sometimes) less overt. Honestly if HP fandom decided to go more down the path of a fandom like Warriors or Miraculous Ladybug, where the average sentiment is more along the lines of "Oh god no don't read/watch the source material it sucks/we stopped paying attention to it year ago and it's not relevant at all to what we're up to. We're over here functionally rewriting everything from the ground up/doing our own thing" I would very much support them in that endeavor. I do think there is merit in limiting promotion of the HP source material as much as possible, though.

Hopefully that all makes at least some amount of sense.

[fieldsofpoppies-in-salt-air]

my marauders headcannons <3

Remus Lupin

heterochromia. I don't care what the films say this man has two different coloured eyes tyvm. the left ones dark brown, nearly black, and the right is a light shade of amber.

DYSLEXIA !! my dyslexic little mate we can match. he absolutely adores reading but it takes him longer if he doesn't use a spell (ty to MsKingBean89 for the spell idea mon ami(e))

hEDS. me too king

cat lover. he absolutely adores cats and sirius gets SO jealous. I think he absolutely owned a cat at some point b4 he started teaching and he dotted on that cat

wears elastics on his wrists (specifically during hogwarts for sirius and lily, but kept wearing them after out of habit </3)

Sirius Black

hard of hearing. I think he probably lost it cos his mum hit his ears or screamed so often at him in close quarters. he'd definitely be vv resentful over it too cos now he's not able to listen to music much

audhd fr. this man was definitely neurodivergent but he must be just like me and be autistic and have adhd cos yh

he whined. loads. not like whinging but like genuinely high pitched whines when he was frightened or upset, kind of like Enid from Wednesday

adored kids but was terrified to have them because of how his mum was

this is gonna be controversial but idc. this man absolutely fancied Remus when he was shagging women, but at one point dated Marlene and Remus at the same time. it's ok tho cos Marlene was kissing Mary on the side

James Potter

vegetarian. refused to eat meat after he became an animagus because it felt cruel, but ESPECIALLY wouldn't eat deer jerky ("it's practically cannibalism, padfoot!")

mama's boy through and through !! this man LOVED his mummy. told her all about his friends and Lily

taught Sirius how to treat people and house elves better when they were first years. you can't tell me this man wasn't the reason sirius wanted to improve himself

he fought w sirius a lot. im sorry I love them both but brothers fight and like. even found family brothers. sirius is the most petty bitch you cannot tell me that James didn't get annoyed or frustrated with some of Sirius' habits and didn't begin arguments over them

so bad w kids until Harry. he was absolutely terrified of them, cos he never had interacted with them much before he had his own, my man Sucked at babysitting and frequently panicked whilst lily was pregnant because he was scared he'd be a bad parent

Peter Pettigrew

#1 James fan. my guy didn't go anywhere if James wasn't going to be there

become You Know because of his jealousy of James and Sirius' friendship

aroace fr. absolutely Disgusted w the amount of PDA by jily and wolfstar

tried to protect Harry for as long as he could w out being suspicious. he still loved James and Lily, and their son, and was just too scared to fight back at You Know Who once James and Lily were dead

a whole virgin, never even tried getting with anyone before he realised he was aroace

Lily Potter (Evans)

actually thought the Marauders were pretty funny but put on a face because of being friends with Snape

a whole pansexual queen

bought everyone in Gryffindor Christmas gifts, or if they were Jewish/Muslim/any other religion that doesn't celebrate Christmas she'd figure out when their holiday was and got them gifts

first person Remus came out to. and she accepted him immediately because she knows what it feels like to be an outcast

so autistic. her special interest was absolutely Jane Austen books I take no criticism <3

Regulus Black

hated his mum just as much as Sirius, but actively tried to conform because he was too scared to be hurt by her

was angry with Sirius for running away, even if he understood why Sirius did it, it still hurt him immensely. that was his older brother, the only one he could talk to, and when he left, it broke off the little bit of familial love he had left

in love w Barty Crouch Jr. I DO NOT CARE. platonic my aSS they were boyfriends, but they hid it very well. absolutely such a healthy couple before the war though. got together when they were 13 or 14 by accident, and stayed together until Reg died

actually really enjoyed being called Reg and Reggie, but pretended to hate it so he wouldn't be perceived as weak or soft by his mum

chess fucking champion

Marlene McKinnon

the flirtiest person you'll ever meet. flirted with everyone but was actually an aromantic lesbian

loved her family unconditionally, and constantly was going home on weekends to help her mum before she died of breast cancer

hated school, she was dyslexic and never told anyone so everyone just thought she was a dumb blonde

half Japanese, but her biological father left when she was a baby, so she wasn't really in tune with that part of her culture.

got bullied in primary school for being the "only dumb Asian"

Mary Macdonald

the most supportive person you'll ever meet

helped the younger POC in Gryffindor take care of their hair properly, and absolutely was like an older sister to all the young girls

not a mean bone her body

muggle born, but she grew up with a friend that had a wizard father so she knew about magic before Hogwarts

terrified of dogs, except for Padfoot, because of being bitten by one when she was in nursery

Dorcas Meadowes

a lesbiannnn. she was in love with Pandora, and they dated for a while before she decided she was done with the Wizarding World and cut contact with everyone

slytherin, but she was friends with everyone

loved Quidditch

oh she was a Pureblood but her parents died when she was young and she stayed with a squib aunt til hogwarts

took muggle studies and would hex any Slytherin who made fun of her for it

Pandora Lovegood (Lestrange)

a Lestrange until marriage

terrified of Narcissa and Bellatrix, but was one of the bridesmaids at Bellatrix's wedding

Ravenclaw, but best friends with Dorcas, Regulus, Barty, and Evan and was hardly if ever in her own common room

she ADORED muggle musicals

her and Dorcas met in a Care of Magical Creatures class in third year and immediately became best friends

Evan Rosier

really homophobic outwardly but was in the closet (for a HOT minute)

flirted with girls constantly

super protective over Pandora and Dorcas

had the worst penmanship and Regulus and Barty both refused to help him with homework because of it

managed to be the only Slytherin who sucked at potions

Barty Crouch Jr.

gay little lad with gay handwriting

LOVED cats. this man was the BIGGEST cat lover I do not care im right ur wrong. absolutely adored them

had a little sister who he was really protective over, she was in Hufflepuff and died during her 4th year which is what made him follow Regulus into joining up w the Death Eaters

daddy and mummy issues for days. bro never had a civil conversation w them

he absolutely beloathed Walburga and Orion Black when he found out what they did to Regulus, but obviously never said anything about it

[maxwell-grant]

Red of Overly Sarcastic Productions once said :"If you can imagine your Batman comforting a shared child, then congratulations, you're righting Batman. If not, you're just writing the Punisher in a funny hat". This got me wondering: could the Shadow comfort a scared child?

Could he? You forget who was there to lift young Bruce to his feet at his first brush with death (sadly far from his last).

But it's an interesting question to pose still, because children were straight up not in the pulps, not in any I've read, and I can't recall any episodes of the radio show that feature them much (there's gotta be at least a few, because they had everything in that show). The most interaction I think The Shadow's ever had with children (from comics that I can discuss here, because Marshall Rogers' "Harold Goes to Washington" is way, way too much for me to go into right now, and the less I talk about some other DC comics, the better) is in the Street & Smith comics.

There's Jerry from the Devil Kyoti arc, a kid who was traumatized by an encounter with the villain who Sayre's looking after and who ends up having some kind of hidden power that allows him to see The Shadow and defeat the villain. There was a blonde Jerry who showed up later in the Monstradamus arc, but he isn't a kid so much as he's diet Jimmy Olsen or a replacement for Harry, but he had weird eyesight-based powers and a familiarity with The Shadow, so I assume it's the same character.

There was also Donald Jordan - Shadow Jr, and okay, I may have to talk more about this weird little failed experiment some other time, but the basic gist of it is that The Shadow had a friend in Tibet named Harry Jordan (and someday I'm also gonna write about the weird prevalence and significance of the name "Harry" in The Shadow's mythos in and out of universe) who was murdered, leaving his son orphaned and with nowhere to go. And, I'll admit that I have a real weakness for The Shadow calling people "son", which he does a lot in this story.

And as you can expect, it then turns out that the kid's also learned how to cloud minds and has basically the same powers The Shadow has in these comics, and they solve the mystery of his dad's murder together, and yeah, you can absolutely tell that they are setting up this kid to be The Shadow's Robin. Although, interestingly, they don't have The Shadow actually recruit the kid, instead it's Jordan who asks The Shadow if he can go with him and join his mission, and Cranston even states he's going to have to "earn" his way

"Must I stay here, sir? It will always remind me of dad - I'd like to devote my life to your fight against evil and evil doers!

Now, "Shadow Jr's" career was incredibly short-lived, it only lasted for about two other issues, and I have no idea what happened in his final appearence called "Snake Eyes" in Shadow Comics #77, I cannot find that issue anywhere and I really want to. But the one other solo story of his I've read was...well, I think it kinda illustrates why the idea of The Shadow having a Robin was doomed from the start.

...Yeah. Even The Shadow at his most sanitized and family friendly is still The Shadow, and there's no room for children in his network, obviously he shouldn't and wouldn't have children be in those positions or make decisions expected from grown-ups who have already had encounters with death and danger, why would anyone do that-

The only instance I can think of The Shadow interacting with a child in the pulps was during The Prince of Evil, when he has to rescue a young boy from Stark's thugs.

Cranston, dazed, tried to stagger to his feet. Before he could do so, the thug had picked up the limp figure of the boy and was darting out into the street. There was a scream of horror from pedestrians.

A heavy truck was racing at top speed along the avenue. Straight into the path of the truck, the thug threw the senseless boy!

The driver of the truck jammed on the brakes. But it was too late to halt the heavy vehicle. The broad-tired wheels rolled toward the limp head of the lad on the pavement.

An instant before it could crush out his life, Lamont Cranston dived headlong into the path of destruction. His shoulder struck the boy, rolling him toward the curb. A quick wriggle, and Cranston swerved aside from the grinding death that loomed over him.

He picked up the boy. One glance and he knew there was no time to lose. The attempted killer had leaped into a waiting sedan and had already made his escape.

The boy was all Cranston could see or think about. Brass knuckles had fractured his skull. He had suffered a concussion of the brain. A glance at his bluish lips and the fixed glaze of his staring eyes told Cranston that unless the boy was operated on immediately, he would die.

A leap, Cranston was in his car. He laid the boy gently on the seat beside him, then headed the car toward the nearest hospital. Traffic lights were ignored.

The boy was taken to an emergency operating room and a skilled surgeon went to work. When it was over, Cranston asked only one question: "Will the child live?"

"Hard to say. We'll do our best."

"Spare no expense. Put him in a private room. Engage day and night nurses."

Cranston's face was pale. He knew that he himself was indirectly responsible for the boy's attack. A supercriminal had made a prompt answer to Cranston's message over Jackson's telephone. That telephone must have been tapped. The attempt to kill the boy was a vicious warning for Lamont Cranston to mind his own business about the Harmon family. It was a follow-up of the attack on Jackson's dog.

Cranston felt a surge of hot anger. He kept it under control while he answered routine police questions. He told all he knew - which was nothing.

He had only one angry thought. He intended to drive straight to the office of David Chester. He'd get the truth out of the sleek Chester, if he had to batter him with vengeful fists!

Cranston was actually halfway to Chester's office before common sense returned to him. He realized he had lost his sense of balance. He was behaving exactly as the crooks wanted. He was playing their game, not his!

He parked, and the hot rage drained slowly from him. He stopped thinking about the limp figure of a young lad on a white operating table.

This is definitely because Tinsley writes the character differently than Gibson, but I actually cannot think of another occasion where we got to read about The Shadow actively wanting to hit someone with his fists. It's very, very rare to read about The Shadow actually getting mad in the first place in such an undignified way. And I think with this passage, you'll start to notice a pattern.

The problem isn't that The Shadow cannot interact with kids or that he can't comfort them, he does it to his agents and adults he wants to help just fine, he knows how to address people in their language, or any language. The problem is, The Shadow is constantly surrounded by danger everywhere he goes, because he is The Shadow. He can be any number of things at any number of occasions, but usually, when The Shadow shows up, it's usually because people are going to die, and people are going to kill, and it's his job to address that and work the scales.

Children should not be anywhere near this, and if The Shadow's interacting with a child, it usually means that some grave danger or tragedy fell upon them, and he's here to either prevent greater tragedy or address the fall-out, and he'd be the first to agree that neither of these options should be happening at all. It doesn't mean he's not gonna do what's right and give life and limb to protect them, but, it shouldn't be up to the Boogeyman to look after them in the first place. Maybe it shouldn't be up to the Boogeyman to protect us.

But then again, as I mentioned when I talked about my own reasons for liking The Shadow so much, there are many kids who would like nothing more than to have the Boogeyman by their side to protect them. There's comfort in knowing that the scariest man in the room is unconditionally there to protect you, and that is the comfort that The Shadow gives best. Not as Cranston, not under a friendly face, but as what he is.

Due to a lack of scenes from the pulps or satisfying scenes from elsewhere, I will instead be pulling one from a fan story written by Kimberly-Murphy Smith, editor and writer of The Hot Cornerm where The Shadow rescues a child who was kidnapped for blackmail. I couldn't care less that it's fanfic, and if you do, come back in 20 or so years after The Shadow's been made public domain and it's gonna be just as official as anything licensed (on my “to write about” list: how fickle the separation between “official” and “fanfic” is, and the many times it plainly didn’t exist). There’s aspects of her writing I don’t care for, but I really like this scene and I do think The Shadow’s more gentle interactions with people are necessary to getting the character.

Annabelle.

She stopped crying for a minute. "Who's there?" she said, her voice choked.

A friend. Your mommy and daddy sent me to pick you up.

"Mommy? Mommy's here?"

Sh-h-h. Annabelle felt a gloved hand gently stroking her hair. She's waiting for you at home. So, we need to hurry up and leave.

"'kay." She looked around. "Where are you?"

It's kind of hard to see me. It's dark in here, plus you've been crying so much your eyes probably hurt.

"Yeah."

Don't be afraid. I'm here to help.

"'kay."

The implicit trust of children was simply amazing at times. Adults trembled in fear of The Shadow's wrath, but children somehow seemed to understand that he was there to help them, even if they couldn't see him.

Sit up, Annabelle. I'm going to pick you up. Be very quiet.

One hand took each of her arms and guided them around a neck she could not see. "Why are you wearin' a blanket?" she asked as the fabric of his cloak brushed against her shoulders.

Sometimes I get cold at night.

"Even in the summer?"

Even in the summer. He gently stroked her cheek and wiped away her tears. Now, you need to be very quiet so those bad men in the next room don't hear us. I'll bet you're tired.

She nodded.

He rocked her on his arms, projecting a very gentle hypnotic relaxation into her with his powers as he did. You probably didn't get your nap, either. Poor thing. Lean on my shoulder and go to sleep. And when you wake up, you'll be back with Mommy and Daddy.

She yawned, then snuggled against his shoulder and went to sleep.

The Shadow sighed with relief. Now to get past the men out front. He gently pulled the pistol out of its holster under his left arm and slipped it into the belted waist of his overcoat within easy reach, then secured his grip on Annabelle and draped his cloak over her.

She clutched the edge of his cloak in her hand like a security blanket and snuggled against his shoulder again.

(Art by Jill Thompson)

[hiccanna-tidbits]

Do you maybe have some headcanons or Au or something for Moana x Merida? I really like that ship! 🤗and I like your moodboards with moanida! ^^

Anon I need you to know I am literally crying TEARS OF JOY because I have FINALLY received an Ask on this humble little blog and I am OVERJOYED

Yes, I would love to talk about Moanida!!!

I’ve got a few AUs I kinda play around with for them--might make moodboards of them one of these days! A couple I really like are a Mermaid AU and a Selkie AU, probably with Moana as the mermaid/selkie because of her ocean connection??? But I really like the idea of Selkie!Merida too, since it would go so nicely with selkies in Scottish folklore and all that. Either way it solves the geographical issue because they can just swim to each other!!! Also yes, these gay girls crossing literal oceans for each other is absolutely the hill I’m going to die on. I’m also a fan of a sort of Mythology/Goddess AU where like Moana is an ocean goddess and Merida is a volcano goddess of sorts akin to Te Ka with cool lava hair and scary volcanic rock skin and only Moana’s soothing ocean waters can calm her eruptive (heh, get it?) rage. And this also means FORBIDDEN SAPPHIC LOVE FORBIDDEN SAPPHIC LOVE FORBIDDEN SAPPHIC LOVE

Also MOANIDA HEADCANONS YESSSS

I thought up some just for you <3 Some are more general and some are more specific AU-focused so I tried to sort them by AU but there’s probably gonna be some overlap.

General ~Merida is THE most overprotective girlfriend. Like she knows Moana’s independent and can take care of herself, but she absolutely will not tolerate slander of or threats to her girlfriend of any kind. If Merida were to meet Maui at any period in the timeline where he and Moana weren’t really cool yet and he was still being kind of a dick to Moana, Merida would try to fight a literal demigod. She doesn’t give a single fuck. ~Once Merida hears about the Tamatoa Incident, she wants to fight every crab she sees. She also develops a taste for crabcakes and crab rangoons because she starts eating lots of crabmeat solely out of spite. Moana finds this endlessly amusing. ~Moana definitely has the braincell between them. She’s constantly having to hold Mer back and talk her down from starting shit. Merida would unleash the Rage of a Thousand Suns upon her enemies if given half the chance. ~Merida is very physically active and loves working out--she would work out twice a day if given the chance. She’s just really about those exercise endorphins. Moana makes her fresh tropical fruit bowls and tropical fruit smoothies for after her workouts. Merida adores these and eventually she absolutely refuses to drink any smoothies not made by her girlfriend. ~They’re both lowkey caffeine addicts. Merida usually loathes getting up early (unless it’s to work out or go riding with Angus) and will snap at anyone and everyone until she’s had coffee. Moana knows how to get her hands on these really amazing-tasting, obscure types of Polynesian coffee, so she hooks them up with The Good Stuff. After tasting the coffee Moana gets, Merida honestly never wants any other B-tier type of coffee again. ~They love to go sailing in Moana’s boat. In a modern AU where the boat has a motor, Merida likes to make them go really fast for the adrenaline rush and the feeling of wind in her hair. It kinda freaks Moana out to go that fast, but it’s honestly worth it for the look of absolute elation on Merida’s face, and the way she laughs and cheers the whole time. ~Sometimes they like to go out on more calm, tranquil night sails. Once they’re a ways out, they just lie on the deck and stargaze. Moana points out all the constellations to Merida and rambles about how to navigate with them. Merida just turns and watches her with this super-smitten look the entire time. ~Moana teaches Merida some Maori. She teachers her how to say “I love you,” and, at Merida’s request, how to swear. ~Sometimes Moana calls Merida Maori words Mer doesn’t understand. Merida gets mad because she thinks Moana’s insulting her. It turns out she’s just calling Merida a bunch of super sappy Maori pet names. ~Sometimes Merida and Moana just like to talk shit about people who are pissing them off IN Maori, so they don’t understand. ~Whenever Merida absolutely goes OFF on someone for saying something homophobic or sexist or whatever, Moana just stands back and crosses her arms and smirks, and says “Thaaaat’s my girl!” It absolutely never fails to make Merida blush like a madwoman and start blubbering like an idiot and lose her original point completely. ~When they fight, they are SO stubborn, petty, and dramatic about it that they can stay mad at each other for DAYS. For really bad fights, they usually end up needing a mediator (in a RotBTD+ AU, I imagine this would be Rapunzel, Anna, or Hiccup). ~Angus and Pua are best friends. No, I will not be accepting criticism at this time. They get into lots of hijinks and shenanigans, and sometimes they sneak out together and Pua likes to ride around on Angus’s back. When Pua and Angus go missing, Mer and Mo just kind of sigh like “Oh, they’re out adventuring again, aren’t they?” ~Angus also always protects Pua so he never has to be scared of adventuring again!!! Pua still remembers his and Moana’s disastrous first sailing attempt, and Angus makes sure little Pua never gets into danger like that again. ~Hamish, Harris, and Hubert ship it SO hard! Moana turns out to be really good with kids, and has even been known to assist with the boys’ mischief from time to time. They definitely think Moana’s a good person to keep their sister’s chaos in check while not being TOO much of a boring wet blanket stifling her fun. ~Sina absolutely ADORES Merida and basically adopts her and treats her like a second daughter. After hearing Merida doesn’t have the best relationship with her own mom and feels like her mom doesn’t try to understand her or respect that she’s different from her, Sina gets like...SUPER angry and and starts doting on Merida to an almost annoying extent. She never wants Merida to have to feel forced into being someone she’s not, since she saw that with Moana and how much it absolutely KILLED her to be kept away from the ocean. ~Tui is leery of Merida at first, mainly because she seems like she’s going to be a bad influence on his daughter. However, he eventually comes around to her once he sees how much she loves his daughter, and they bond over both being ridiculously overprotective of Moana. ~Fergus also adores Moana, and basically knew Merida was gay from the jump--them dating is 0% a surprise to him. He’s honestly just glad that his daughter has someone more rational and down-to-earth to prevent her from doing anything TOO stupid. ~Elinor meanwhile, traditionalist that she is, is NOT about this whole lesbian thing and would probably be pretty homophobic...at least at first (steaming hot take, I know, she’s just got tradition so far up her ass I don’t know if she’d EVER be okay with her daughter choosing not only to forego marriage to man COMPLETELY--not just delay it--but marry a woman instead, who she couldn’t produce an heir with. Also sorry but I do not like her and probably will not portray her particularly favorably in my HCs sorry not sorry lmao) Maybe she comes around, maybe she doesn’t. I’ll leave that up to your imagination. Although I am not an Elinor fan so I think you already know my take XD ~Moana is grey-asexual grey-aromantic, so she CAN be sexually and romantically interested in people, it’s just...very rare. Merida is basically the only person she’s ever wanted to legit date. Maybe she likes boys too, but she wouldn’t know--she hasn’t found any she’s into thus far. Merida, meanwhile, has always been a raging lesbian, and has had lots of crushes on girls over the years (in an AU where she has the opportunity to, anyhow--ARE there even any girls her age in Dunbroch??? XD). When her parents would read storybooks to her as a kid, she’d always finding herself getting doe-eyed over the “fair maidens” rather than the fearless, ripped warriors who saved them from danger.  No crush ever hit her quite as hard as Moana did, though. But Merida knows for a damn fact she isn’t into men--90% of the time she can’t stand them and their antics, and the only men she’s ever really felt any kind of affection for are ones in her family or ones who remind her of one or more of her family members. ~Moana makes Merida flower crowns. Merida grumbles endlessly about how “girly” they are, so Moana hunts down some black flowers to make one with so it’ll look a bit more badass and intimidating. Merida absolutely LOVES it and wears it everywhere. ~Merida teaches Moana how to horseback ride and how to shoot a bow and arrow. She’s pretty not great at either at first, but Merida is incredibly patient with her. This shocks everyone around them, because since when is Merida patient with anyone? ~Merida also teaches Moana swordplay, and they LOVE to spar with each other. Agressive flirting during sparring sessions is very commonplace. If anyone attacks either Dunbroch or Motunui, Merida and Moana are a force to be reckoned with. ~Likewise, Moana teaches Merida how to sail and some kinda basic naval combat skills (i.e. how to shoot that harpoon gun or whatever it was she used to fight the kikimora off). ~They don’t have sex that often because neither of them has that high of a sex drive, but when they do, Merida tops if a strap-on is used. ~Moana is the kind of person who just kinda sings songs to herself as she goes about her daily routine and her chores. Merida loves to listen in because she thinks Moana has the prettiest singing voice on earth. That doesn’t stop her from teasing Moana about “singing all the got dam time,” though. ~Literally ALWAYS cuddling and kissing when they’re watching something together or just doing any kinda idle activity at home together. These girls cannot keep their hands off of each other. They hold hands in public pretty much everywhere they go, and Merida yells at anyone who makes a fuss about it.

Modern AU ~They meet while Merida is studying abroad in Tahiti. Maybe because Maui (who’s Moana’s cousin or older brother or something) has a tattoo parlor, and of COURSE Merida goes in to get some edgy bow and arrow tattoo to piss her mom off. Or maybe Merida is just snorkeling in one of the coves on one of her days off, and she runs into Moana and they just Vibe. ~I also like the idea of them meeting at a bar/nightclub type place in Papeete--like maybe Maui owns the nightclub because he just likes to party like that, and he lets his little sis Moana poke around in there because he’s lowkey a terrible influence XD And maybe one night Moana’s bartending to make a little extra cash and Merida comes in and gets really drunk on like a huge Sex on the Beach or something and starts really clumsily hitting on Moana and Moana gets SUCH a kick out of it. Merida can’t remember much of the flirting the next day, but she and Moana still become fast friends. ~Merida is constantly ditching class to sneak off and go see Moana. Her grades are plummeting. ~When the semester abroad is over, they promise to keep in touch over the internet--although Moana also wants to write letters because she loves the idea of having a pen pal. Merida teases her mercilessly for being so “old-fashioned” but also doesn’t have the heart to say no. ~They end up confessing they like each other over internet chat. Merida damn well knows she’s gay and has for a while now, but she’s terrified of telling Moana she’s into her because she’s really scared Moana’s straight. So when Moana is the one who ends up confessing to Merida, Merida has literally never been happier in her entire life. ~Once Merida graduates, they decide to just say “fuck it” and move to some big seaside city together (for some reason I really like the idea of them living in Los Angeles???). Merida needs to get away from her overbearing mom and Moana just really wants to see more of the world besides the South Pacific, so away they go! ~BROADWAY MUSICAL NERDS BROADWAY MUSICAL NERDS BROADWAY MUSICAL NERDS! They both fucking LOVE musicals, especially those with sapphic undertones (Wicked, anyone?), and will loudly and obnoxiously sing along to the soundtracks, much to the chagrin of all their neighbors. They’re also pretty big theater fans in general--especially Merida, always rather the dramatic type. ~At some point they save up and go to see Wicked on Broadway together. The trip ends up being one of their all-time favorites, and their fridge is covered in goofy, dumb selfies of them in New York. ~Moana goes to every SINGLE one of Merida’s archery tournaments, and every single game of any other sport she plays. Literally no one cheers more boisterously or enthusiastically than Moana does. Whenever Merida hits a bullseye or scores a goal, Moana grins and nudges the people next to her (even if they’re complete fucking strangers) and goes “That’s my girlfriend!!!” ~Merida is a goddamn punk, and is always walking around in spiked jackets, combat boots, and basically any other clothing that says “don’t fuck with me.” She tried to start a punk rock band once, but it ended up falling through because no one would sponsor Merida’s angry screamo songs about smashing the patriarchy. Moana still went to all of their tiny-ass, tacky concerts though, for the few months they were “touring” the city. ~Merida taught herself how to play electric guitar because she thinks it’s Edgy and Cool. Moana really likes to dance, and knows a fair number of traditional Polynesian dances and has even taught a class or two. Merida learns how to play some traditional Polynesian music on the electric guitar so she can play while Moana dances. The combination of hard rock-esque shredding and a very mellow island dance looks extremely bizarre to anyone watching, but the girls absolutely do not care.

@takaraphoenix I said I’d tag you in Moanida content I made and I am a woman of my word!!! Enjoy!!!

Please y’all, send me more asks about my ships!!! I love to talk about them!!!

[dinosaurtsukki]

haikyuu!! characters and their fave musicals

pretty much an hc’s for funsies type of thing. which characters are absolute nerds for musicals and which ones couldn’t care less? i know not everyone likes musicals but if this is your thing, feel free to read! 

Hinata: he’s one of those people who watched Shrek the Musical unironically and ended up getting really hooked on it but no way is he going to tell anyone

Kageyama: thinks that the Shrek trilogy are counted as movie musicals because ‘the characters sing and everything’. will fall asleep in a theatre so don’t bring him you’ll be disappointed

Tsukishima: loves Avenue Q and The Producers because the humor is right up his alley. also has tASTE and his fave is probs something like Hadestown because it is the best musical. loves to break down the lyrics and listens to an album non-stop when he’s obsessed

Yamaguchi: he tried to watch Grease but ended up throwing popcorn at the tv-screen because of the blatant sexism. yams is not About That. gets his recommendations from Tsukki and has never looked back

Tanaka: likes anything with awesome choreography and really cool special-effects like Hamilton or Be More Chill. when you ask him about the story though he’s like ???

Noya: doesn’t get the concept of musicals. ‘she’s singing about the guy but he’s right there??? doesn’t he hear everything????’ ‘WHY ARE THEY SINGING JUST FIGHT ALREADY’

Ennoshita: also has Taste. watches pretty much anything and loves to keep track of new productions and new casting. if you ask him about his favorite musical he’ll probably specifically mention the cast and where it was performed

Asahi: y’all are gonna hate me y’all are gonna hate me but JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR haha jk. one hundred percent a Dear Evan Hansen kinda guy because he relates to the main guy’s personality. has waving through a window on repeat

Sugawara: LOVES the classics: Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, Miss Saigon. knows every song and movement by heart. sings them everywhere. would not listen to anything else. also Moulin Rouge because he’s one Classy Bitch

Daichi: appreciates any good musical recommended to him but the kind of person who presses ‘shuffle’ when listening to the recording and all the fans around him die inside. does this more than once just for that reaction

Kiyoko: loves anything with awesome female roles, particularly Legally Blonde and Six the Musical. raises an eyebrow at you if you say you like Grease and you land on her list of people she would barely talk to

 Yachi: practically raised on disney movie musicals. loves to watch and re-watch videos from Broadway Princess Party a lot. is basically a disney princess herself and loves to put some songs on when she cleans the house. 

Kuroo: one of those people who got really into Hamilton back in the day. would sing the vocals, the back-up vocals, the chorus parts, and hum the intros. says he’s a musical fan but that’s the only one he’s watched/listened to.

Kenma: someone recommended Be More Chill to him (probably tsukki) and he ended up actually liking it. once in a while you’ll hear him humming ‘christiiiiIIiine’ under his breath. likes to listen to michael in the bathroom at 2 am

Yaku:  hates musicals ever since Nekoma had a movie night and then decided to watch Lion King and lev dead-ass lifted him up over his head like what rafiki did to simba in That Scene. 

Lev: another one who likes disney musicals but like, the basic ones (frozen, tangled, beauty and the beast). mostly because they’re his sister’s favorites tho. has more than once did the whole ‘do you want to build a snowman’ thing with alisa and probably his teammates

Oikawa: thinks that liking Heathers makes him edgy it doesn’t. practically paid hanamaki and matsukawa to sing Candy Store with him and using iwa as veronica. absolutely vibes to the Mean Girls musical

Iwaizumi: a hard High School Musical stan, now and forever. thinks that Ryan and Chad are definitely gay. one time oikawa was giving them a pep talk and said ‘what team?’ and iwa yelled ‘WILDCATS’ and then everybody looked at him because they KNEW they KNEW HE NEVER GOT OVER THAT PHASE-- 

Matsukawa: Cats. The Movie.* wrote a long-ass thread on twitter about why the female cats should be given six boob and tagged Tom Hooper. was blocked.

Hanamaki: *see above. probably had his sexual awakening when he saw Idris Elba as a sexy cat. there’s nothing gendered about a sexy cat

Kyoutani: likes the leather jacket aesthetic in Grease. looked up the lyrics to ‘Greased Lightning’ once and shut off his laptop when he saw the innuendos. may have tried to replicate the choreography at one point but fell off a table

Yahaba: a romantic at heart. has a copy of the West Side Story DvD and loves to sing ‘Maria’ and ‘One Hand, One Heart.’ he and Oikawa love to duet ‘I Feel Pretty.’ also tried to copy the choreography and sUCCEEDED

Ushijima: you’ve taken him to see an array of musicals, from the much-loved classics to the inventive modern musicals. every time, you glance at him hoping for any reaction. he always leaves the theater saying ‘it was good.’ only one musical has managed to make him crack a smile: The Muppets (the movie ver.)

Tendou: another boy with Quality Taste. is a hardcore stan of any musical by Team Starkid (also loves that they’re all on Youtube). makes so many references to them but nobody else understands. will yell ‘TIGERFUCKER TIGERFUCKER’ out of the blue

Shirabu: thinks that La La Land is Peak Taste. got angry when tendou showed him a video of ryan gosling scenes in the movie but it’s all replaced by barry, the bee from Bee Movie. now La La Land is ruined because he keeps on remembering ‘you like jazz?’ in barry’s voice 

Semi: tells you that he just doesn’t watch musicals but he secretly had such a Les Miz phase. writes enjolras x reader fanfics and his longest one was 200k words. if he hears anything that vaguely sounds like ‘do you hear the people sing’, a tear will fall out of the corner of his eye

Goshiki: was looking for slime tutorials one and stumbled on ‘not hamilton just a 2 hr slime tutorial’ y’all kno what i’m talking about and watched the whole thing. was disappointed that there weren’t any slimes but is now into hamilton

Akaashi: knows and understands the peak performance quality and biblical philosophy of Jesus Christ Superstar. doesn’t tell anyone about it though because they all assume its all church music. ‘it’s not’, he sobs. ‘it’s more.’

Bokuto: akaashi recommended Jesus Christ Superstar to him and he watched it, thinking that he’d see jesus playing an electric guitar. he was very disappointed and sulked about it for a week. LOVES disney musicals though

Atsumu: was one of those kids who would look up the Harry Potter Puppet Pals videos on youtube and stumbled in to A Very Potter Musical. ever since jk rowling’s snake side came out he began accepting that fan musical as canon. likes to piss rowling off by posting screenshots of the musical and saying its from the movie

Osamu: the Disney fan but with Quality Taste. loves Hunchback of Notre Dame, Princess and the Frog, Prince of Egypt, and Anastasia (the last two aren’t disney but animated musicals). cries at the sound of Phil Collins’ sultry voice. 

Kita: is in love with Phantom of the Opera because his grandmother loves listening to it. he’d sing THE ENTIRE SOUNDTRACK pretty much every day until his teammates catch him singing in the locker rooms while they were changing AND NAILING ALL OF CHRISTINE’S HIGH NOTES LIKE ITS NOTHING

Terushima: doesn’t like musicals so his friend recommended that he watch The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals by Team Starkid because of the crackhead humor. watched Robert Manion perform and ending up going on google and searching ‘does watching men move their hips real nice make me bi?’

Koganegawa:  y’all are gonna be surprised but this one’s a hardcore Wicked fan. has watched all of the different castings of it. he loves to imitate Elphaba’s iconic ‘FIEEEEROOOOOOO’ line in the showers and records it, just to see if he’s close to how it sounds onstage. has Idina Menzel’s autograph

Futakuchi: bitch does nothing but roast everyone else’s musical tastes. hamilton? ‘wow, mainstream much?’ dear evan hansen? ‘psshh, basic.’ be more chill? ‘think you’re edgy or something?’ the greatest show? ‘what are you? five?’ his favorite musical is actually Cats

[harrysgloves]

Let Your Hair Down (chapter viii)

Get caught up with the Let Your Hair Down Masterlist!

word count: 1,209

story summary: Harry gets more than he bargains for when he falls not only for you but your little girl as well.

chapter summary: it’s not a good morning for you but Harry always knows how to have fun.

warnings: Language.. at this point I feel like no one should be surprised about that.

a/n: Does this chapter full the plot? No. Do I still love it and refuse to not post it cause I think it’s adorable? YES!! xx

>>><<<

Monday morning was way more rough than the previous Monday. First, Thea refused to get out of bed as she whined about not wanting to see Van and kiss him. Which you promptly told her she did not have to kiss him resulting in her asking why people kissed in the first place which was a whole other issue that you answered with "you'll find out when you're older". Luckily she decided to drop the issue, thankfully.

Then came the problem of you not being able to find anything to wear or the shoes that went with any of the outfits you liked. By the time you heard the knock on the door your hair was only half done, your makeup only finished on one side, a different shoe on each foot and pjs still on.

"I swear to God if that's you Mr. Edwards I'm going to report you to the building manager." You yelled as you stomped through your apartment, making sure your shoes hit loudly, just to piss off the guy who lived below you who thinks it's reasonable for you to not be loud at 6am. You have a kid, that's definitely not going to happen.

"I swear you old racist fucking bastard if I open this door and you're going to bitch me out I'm going to deck you in the fucking ballsa--" You threw open the door ready to fight the son of a bitch on your doorstep but stopped in your tracks at Harry standing there smiling like an idiot.

"Bloody hell love. I think Mr. Edwards has a right to be mad at you." He laughed, eyes traveling down your disheveled self before they snapped back up to your eyes.

"Bad mornin', darling?" He questioned, leaning in to give you a quick kiss on the cheek and handing you your usual coffee order. He walked into your apartment to see half your closet laying in the living room. His dumb smile still on his face as he turned to you.

"Okay, this morning is complete shit so don't start." You sighed, taking a sip from iced coffee, and walking over to the mess in your living room.

"Me and Thea couldn't decide on what I should wear." You shrugged as you looked at the disaster you'd have to clean up later. "Can you make sure she's ready while I go finish trying to get all this in order?" You gestured to your hot mess self.

"Sure." His bottom lip tucked between his teeth and you knew it was to stop himself from laughing but right now if you didn't go into the bathroom to finish getting ready you were going to settle for fighting him instead of Mr. Edwards. You turned with a huff and quickly made your way into the bathroom to fix the disaster that was you. Your makeup refused to cooperate, your eyeliner needing to be redone 3 times just to look like it semi matched. Your hair eventually ended up being straightened because nothing else was working.

By the time you exited the bathroom you were 100% fed up with the day and just wanted to go back to sleep. Your mind already running through all the dumb meetings you had to attend that day so you knew skipping wasn't a possibility. You sighed as you walked into the living room to find Thea completely ready. Her and Harry holding up different shirts and shoes of yours to find you an outfit.

"Momma looks nice in red." Thea held up a shirt you actually really liked and showed Harry who nodded in agreement.

"Probably better than the white shirt I picked out. She'd probably spill somethin' on it."

"Hey!" You yelled, offended. Your arms crossing across your chest.

"Can't be mad at the truth, love." Harry's lips twitched up at your annoyed face and when Thea agreed with Harry you about had it. You didn't give birth to her for her to betray you like this.

"I leave you two alone for 10 minutes and you become best friends?" The annoyed tone in your voice, very evident as you walked across the room to pick up the outfit they laid out for you. You had to admit it was nice but still your daughter just called you out.

"Harry's my best friend." She smiled widely as she hugged Harry around the legs.

"Oh really?" You quirked an eyebrow at her, not believing for one second she became best friends with him after 10 minutes alone. Her innocent smile screamed she was up to something and the way Harry wouldn't look at you just made you think you were right.

"Fine!" She huffed giving into your mom look as she pointed to Harry. His face snapping to hers, a look of betrayal slapped across it. "He said he'd give me 5 dollars to mess with you!" She ratted on him like the snitch she was making you gasp extra dramatically.

"Harold!" You yelled, throwing your hands in the air, causing Thea to laugh loudly. "I can't believe you would turn my own daughter against me."

"Sorry love but there's nothin' you can do to stop us being best friends." He said, joining your game of making Thea giggle nonstop. Her small hands clasping over her mouth as she tried to keep all her laughter in.

"Look at this!" He said shoving his painted fingernails inches from your face as he picked up Thea's arm waving it around dramatically. "We have matchin' nails. All best friends have matchin' nails."

Thea nodded her head in agreement, her smile wide across her face as Harry continued to wave her arm around like a maniac.

"Oh yeah?" Your arms came to fold across your chest. "Well we have matching DNA." You stuck out your tongue at him. Thea was absolutely a mess of laughing now. Loving the fact you were being so silly.

"But if she doesn't want to be my best friend anymore that's okay." You said, sadly looking at the ground, making Thea stop laughing. She quickly came over to you and you snapped your head up, an evil smile across your face.

"I'll just have to tickle her until she's my best friend again." You reached out and grabbed her around the waist, one hand tickling her side as she let out a scream. Harry quickly joining in. Tears rolling down her face from laughing so hard.

"You both can be my best friends!" She squealed, trying to push both set of hands away from her. You smiled up to Harry, placing Thea on the ground and holding out your hand.

"Truce?" You asked. He quickly took your hand and shook it. His eyes beaming with nothing but happiness.

"Truce." He agreed.

He had barely gotten the word out when all 3 of your attentions got caught by the loud banging coming from your door.

"You're the worse fucking neighbors! Shut up!" Screamed, the angry old man who lived directly below you.

"Mr. Edwards has to pay the curse jar." Thea mumbled causing Harry to laugh really loudly.

"Sorry Mr. Edwards." You all three yelled at the door hearing him walk off down the hallway, stomping the whole way.

[dreams-of-wings]

Being a part of the Core VK's, and daughter to Hades

Relationships with the Core Four:

You and Mal are half sisters - same dad, different moms. Mal hated you for a long time, even when she had yet to meet you, she knew of you and that made her blood absolutely boil. You were the daughter Hades raised, while he just left her and her mother. You both eventually get along, and once you do, you're inseparable, as thick as thieves, partners in crime, the works.

Evie thinks you're cool. She doesn't have a problem with you- then again I don't think she has a problem with anyone really. She likes your style, she wouldn't wear it, but she likes it because you work it and make it look good. She gets to know you more when you and Mal start hanging out and she kinda becomes like your sister as well.

Jay thinks you're awesome. He witnessed your hair burst into flames one day when someone pissed you off, trying to steal something your rightfully *coughcough* found. Definitely asked you about your powers and wondered why you could still use magic. It was kinda hard to explain, but basically on the island you can only do a few things - all of which require direct contact. Lounging/parkour buddy.

Okay, but please tell me why the thought of harmless, got bullied a lot, soft boy Carlos/intimidating, protective Daughter of Hades, just makes me melt. Like, you save his ass a lot. You knew Carlos before you knew the rest of the core four - back when it was Mal and Jay, Evie did her own thing, and Carlos was just kinda left to fend for himself. It's okay though, you'll protect him.

Background:

No one knows who your mother is

Not you

Not Mal

Not even Maleficent

Hades doesn't like to talk about her

She died before you had the ability to retain memories

She wasn't the first or the last of the people that were claimed by the terrible conditions of the Island of the Lost.

Medical care wasn't exactly top notch, and no one really cared about the ones who passed the first few years.

Just ment more supplies for the rest of them

You weren't allowed to wander the isle as a child, he kept you locked away - worried Maleficent might try something (and worried that if anyone found out about you being his daughter, they would have something over his head).

It was thanks to Hades tucking you away, that Maleficent was never able to find you.

You started sneaking out when you turned 10

You proved you could handle yourself, so Hades let you run free.

Besides 10 years had passed since you were born and he figured maybe Maleficent didn't care about you anymore.

It took you and Mal a while to trust eachother.

When you trusted her enough, you told her about your dad.

She didn't say anything and just left you - she was so angry and conflicted, on one hand she wanted to hate you because you were the child Hades' stuck around for, the one he raised, and fathered, and protected from Maleficent.

After a few weeks she found you in your own little corner if the island you carved for yourself, and explained everything.

Suprise, you're sisters!

Evie knows you're sisters

To be honest, you could be leader of their group, and also could be considered one of the most problematic kids on the Island, but you're too laid back.

You could go out of your way to cause trouble and make life on the island even more miserable than it already is.

But that takes too much effort.

Uma and Harry have no beef with you other than the fact that you're Mal's friend.

They try to get you to join their crew almost daily.

"Nah, you guys are good at what you do without me."

You're welcome at Ursula's fish and chips any time.

Uma doesn't even find your rejection insulting, you're just. So chill?

Her crew has rules, training, errands to run, collecting protection fees, and helping her at her mother's restuarant.

No thanks

Too much work

You like Mal's mom's way of doing things, "When you're evil, doing less is doing more."

Mal's crew just kinda hangs out together and roams the island being cats basically - lounging and loitering where you're not supposed to, subtly stealing things, knocking things over, just chilling and having fun doing whatever you want.

Your kinda crew.

Storyline:

When they go to Auradon, they take you with them

You weren't invited because again - no one knows who your parents are.

But you guys are kinda a package deal.

Ben was all for it when they called him.

"The more the merrier!"

He thought it was just an early sign that this was a great idea and he was making a difference.

You dont get to say bye to your dad because it was a very last minute thing.

You just kinda disappear.

But to be honest he's used to you just not showing up for weeks or even months at a time.

It's the reason why you were able to keep who your father is a secret for so long.

You come out the limo looking as cool as a cucumber, with your arms crossed as you stand next to Mal.

"This is more than you said there would be!" Fairy Godmother is not so subtly whisper-yelling at Ben.

"They wouldn't come without her- it was all of them, or none of them."

"Well maybe that should have been a sign, Benny-boo!"

"You know we can still hear you," you say while purposely chewing your gum in an obnoxious manner, just to get on their nerves.

They're already getting on yours.

In all seriousness, you whisper a, "Just say the word and she's toast," to Mal.

Screw Audrey.

Of course they split you all up for the most part.

They're worried if they put all the VK's together in one class, it may be too much for the teachers to handle.

They're not wrong.

To be honest though, you're a handful all on your own.

Your teachers wonder how things managed to burst into flames for no apparent reason all through out class.

Some jerks thought it would be okay to pick on Carlos when Jay isn't around him.

For some reason they think that just because your a girl, you're weak?

Must be the stupid "princely boy needs to save the day" mentality that runs rampant in Auradon.

You set someone's hair on fire.

And someone else duffle bag.

This would probably be a good time to mention that the VK's already know you can conjure fire.

They just think that your parent/parents are witches and you just have an affinity for fire.

Carlos normally either sticks to you or Jay when he isn't practicing with Ben.

You dont see your fathers statue in the hall of villains when you guys break into the museum - mostly because he's in another hall completely.

There's a whole hall dedicated to God's and goddesses as well as Hercules story.

You dont bother to offer up your powers when you're escaping, you know Mal's got it covered.

Helping Mal bake love potion cookies.

While the others are doing this because their parents would have their necks, you're genuinely doing this for your father. You know all he wants is to get off the island.

Causing a small lawn fire when the Sleeping Beauty's family and Chad get in Mal's face.

Your bursted into blue flames when Maleficent crashed Ben's coronation.

Having Mal's back after she was announced to become a new Lady of the Court.

Honestly you dont know what the big deal is about Mal using her magic.

Of course you go with Evie, Ben, Carlos, and Jay when they go to the isle to get Mal.

When Evie goes to talk to Mal you go visit your father.

He's a bit upset with you because he's seen you on TV so he knows you left.

But he can understand you not wanting to be trapped on this island forever.

"I'll find a way to get you out, soon."

"Say 'hello' to Mal for me"

Of course you couldn't.

Harry flirting with you and trying to recruit you again when he snags Ben.

When the battle at the docks ensues, you dont need a sword to fight.

Like Hades with his Ember, and like Mal and her Mother with their eyes, you dont need magic to use your flames because they are a part of you.

Sure the island managed to hold you back, but you can bring just enough to the surface to make any sword you grab on to too hot to handle.

Your powers are useless against Uma when she crashes cotillion.

You know, being surrounded by water and all.

"See ya, Y/N."

"See ya, Uma."

Surprisingly hard for you to make enemies

Except for Audry you know.

Of course you are Mal's planned maid of honor for her wedding.

Evue already has a dress made for you, and it was super hard for her not to gush to Mal about it because that would have given away the suprise.

You pretending to be defenceless against Hades when you all go to pick up the next chosen VK's to come to Auradon.

You keep your flames concealed of course because this would be a terrible time to show that both you and Hades share the same flaming blue hair.

You honestly surprised no one put two and two together sooner.

Definitely not there for the meeting where Mal decides to close the barrier for good.

But you were there for when Mal told Evie.

You were also the first to figure out Mal was hiding something. She wouldn't tell you right out though, but you knew something was up because that pause to answer Evie was too long.

Going back to the isle with the others to get Hades ember after Audrey turn Mal old.

"Hey girls~" was the greeting you both got from Hades when Mal tried to grab his Ember.

"Long time no see, Y/N."

Mal just glares at him.

You sit on the table where the Ember was while you let Mal and Hades have their little musical number. Mal kinda let her anger come through.

"Hey!" You would not be dragged into this, thank you.

You went to stand next to Mal when she asked for the Ember one final time and looked at your father with a shit eating grin, because you know deep down he won't say no to his girls.

"The Ember won't work for you."

"Yes it will. We're blood."

"You're only half Hades."

"Well then I guess two halves make a whole, right?"

"Those are my girls~"

You, Mal, and Uma joining together to break Audrey's attempt to keep you guys trapped in the cabin.

Helping Evie be the peace keeper when you all battle the suits of armor in Ben's castle.

You chase after Uma and Harry when Mal breaks the news about the barrier.

Which means you didn't get turned to stone.

Helping Uma reignite the Ember so Mal can take on Audrey.

Telling Mal you want to go back to the Isle along with Uma, Harry, Gil, and Celiea.

She's heart broken because you're her sister and it was kinda supposed to be you both against the world.

You can't turn your back on the kids from the isle. Like Mal, so many of the younger ones look up to you. On top of that you also can't imagine not ever seeing your dad again.

She understands, and when Hades comes to wake up Audrey, you go back to the Isle with your father.

You finally agree to join Uma's crew when you return.

Shes happy but also let's you know shes sorry you had to leave your sister.

You're hanging out with your new crew at the Fish and Chips when it's almost time for Mal to announce that they will be closing the Barrier forever.

You, Uma, Gil, and Harry are huddles up together around the TV.

But when Mal announces they will be opening the barrier for good you all cheer and you run to go get your dad.

Yay big family reunion!

[nocturnememory]

I am a very big fan of your work. Voldemort is an anti hero but I'm waiting for the day his Harries relationship becomes better. And hoping it happens soon in the rewrite. That he realises his mistakes. What is your opinion on Dumbledore in the story? I can without any doubt say that I hate him. Also Samson us great:) You also wrote another reincarnation story where Tom and harrie had started Hogwarts and were in Slytherin and gryffindor respectively? Can you post that too? Ichor update??

thank you :)

I’m not sure if he’s an anti hero, maybe in his own mind haha, but I know what you mean. And yes, he does eventually realise his mistakes in regards to Harrie and it will happen soon-ish, but not all at once or like, within a chapter or two. But it will happen faster than last time as I do think I dragged that shit out a bit being unnecessarily wordy when I didn’t have to be.

I honestly, and I know i’m in the minority here, have always liked dumbledore as a character. He is flawed, absolutely, he has made mistakes, and we’re all very quick to look at him and be like, he’s at fault for this and this and this... but then we look at someone like Sirius or Remus or even Voldemort and Snape and we give them graces we don’t give to Dumbledore.

Dumbledore lost his whole family, his father to Azkaban, his mother to his sister, his sister to his lover, and his brother in the fallout. I would imagine watching the man you love destroy everything you thought he was, his love for you, and the world as you know it... would generally mess someone up. I don’t blame Albus for not acting quickly in the same way I wouldn’t blame Harry or Lily or or I don’t know, James for taking a step back and being angry or sad before being willing to stand up and face someone who hurt you or the people you love. Because let’s face it. Remus abandoned Harry just as much as Albus did, Sirius chose to fight and die (twice!) instead of staying for Harry. Lily lost severus, (yes by his own choices)but she walks away from him, probably mourned her best friend and I honestly believe would hesitate to raise her wand against him, if they came face to face on a battlefield.

Albus deserves the same sort of compassion, imo.

And also, I always try to remind myself, when I watch or read the books/movies, that the source material is a kids/teen book, and like all of those series, sometimes the competent, responsible adult who should be taking charge or fighting...aren’t. And they won’t, because they aren’t the main character.

This is definitely something I like addressing in Ichor, as far as I am concerned Albus and Voldemort are on two completely different playing fields than Harrie or any of the teenagers in the story. This isn’t their fight. It’s a war. Harrie is a pawn, a piece to be moved.  We can stand back and judge Albus for using her, but in the end, he wasn’t the one to put her on the board, that was Voldemort.

At the end of the day, I like albus, faults and all, the same way I like Tom and Snape and Harry. Characters are more than just one or two choices and actions and sometimes we need to step back and look at the whole of them to understand them.

If we can love Tom Riddle, we can sure as hell love Albus Dumbledore.

Sorry, this got long hahah, i get wordy sometimes, i have strong feelings on the Albus-hate that’s out there ngl. I will be putting the reincarnation story back up soon-ish, probably after the next ichor update...which should be in a week or so, just at the 10k mark now, and I think it needs another 5 or so to round it out. :)

[minervahopebeyond]

Blood Petals.

Hi, everyone! I’ll leave here the third chapter :) it’s longer than the other two but I hope you’ll like it.

Chapter 3: Hanahaki.

You know what the problem with him living at Grimmauld Place was? It was that he felt too comfortable. Living with Sirius and Mr. Potter was so easy. They tried to be cool all the time so they never told him to eat more or made him talk about stuff on the table because it was the ‘polite thing to do’. It had something to do with the fact that Sirius felt too mentally immature to make house rules and Mr. Potter seeing himself much younger than he actually felt, so one time they confessed him that he could pretty much do what he wanted if he promised that he wouldn’t do blood rituals in his bedroom. Draco secretly thought that it was so easy to live with them because no other Gryffindors were around so he didn’t found himself in a situation where he was supposed to act as a prat just to keep the balance of nature as it should be.

Because of the events that took place in the department of the mysteries, the Order had decided that it was safer if he didn’t go back to school for the rest of the year and he agreed of course. The rest of them had to attend as always with the promise that Umbridge was no longer the High Inquisitor at Hogwarts and that they shall not have detentions given the already very traumatizing events they had to endure.

Not for all the galleons in the world he would willingly sleep in the Slytherin dungeons until all of this blows over. If someone actually took any opinions that Draco may have into account, they would know that he didn’t want to go back to Hogwarts at all. He didn’t want to spend the last two years of his life studying for his useless N.E.W.T.S., Severus almost had a heart attack when he told him.

“I will not hear you talking as if you’ll die.”

“But I’m going to. It’s pointless for me to study and it’s pointless for me to be locked down in here. I understand if you don’t want me to be near here because they may catch me, but I can go wherever and enjoy this. It’s an opportunity.”

His godfather stared at him with a annoyed expression. Then he continued to drink his tea while reading the book on ancient blood magic that they found at Grimmauld’s library. There were no answers in that one, Draco already read it, but Severus had this insufferable little habit of ignoring everything he said.

“You are going back to school because you are a minor and under my guardianship. And I absolutely refuse to talk about how you will face a certain death if you do not tell me what exactly is the bargain about.”

“ Yeah? Well don’t hold your breath.” He ended the conversation right there and stormed off to his room, dramatic door slammed and all.

After that awful little chat with his godfather, Draco spent four days in Regulus Room. He read, watched the stars in the ceeling, sometimes he would draw too, Kreacher brought him food there... It was like his little cave and he kind of hated it and loved it at the same time. By the fifth day he was woken up by knocks on his door. He stepped out of the bed, still dizzy from sleep, as he was trying to rub his eyes, he opened the bedroom door. Sirius and Mr. Potter were in front of him with a hesitant look in their faces. What time was it, Salazar. He was so tired...

“Good morning” Sirius greeted him.

“Is it?” He responded. Mr Potter let out a soft chuckle then.

“Harry told me you were on the quidditch team.” Draco looked at his cousin confused. He wasn’t getting the point, really. “You can fly on the gardens... everything has wards, you wouldn’t be seen.”

“I don’t have a broom, clearly. I asked Severus to bring mine from school but he refused, said that it would raise suspicion.”

Their expressions deflated then. Apparently this was the only plan that they had thought of to cheer him up and Draco felt kind of guilty for no having even faked a little enthusiasm. Fuck it, he was angry with his godfather not with them. This poor people gave him a roof, no questions asked and that was more than he could say about ‘I don’t care what you think’ Severus or ‘hurt them and we are going to have a problem,Malfoy’ Potter. Really, how come that all the persons he loved were the ones that thought shit of him. Maybe it was because of his awful relationship with his father, he was too familiar with insults as a way of communication.

He grabbed a shirt that was near his bed. It was Regulus’s, like everything he used those days, because they couldn’t send his stuff to the headquarters yet. He left the pants he had on, it was kind of depressing but last night he didn’t even have the energy to put on his pijamas so he had just took off his shirt and went to sleep. He put his shoes on and joined the two man that stood there in the hallway. Mr. Potter frowned, Draco started walking downstairs to the kitchen because he wanted to avoid any comments but he heard them anyway.

“That’s it? All we had to do was knock? I told that to Padfoot ages ago”

“ Well who told you to listen to me? I just said my opinion that maybe space was best.”

He smiled to himself a little bit, sometimes Draco could hear them arguing about the most ridiculous things around the house, all focused on their own opinions, and then Mr. Potter would start laughing, then Sirius would laugh too and they forgot what the hell were they talking about before they started laughing.

When they got downstairs, Kreacher had already prepared breakfast. He pulled a chair and sat in silence, there was a copy of the daily prophet on the table so he grabbed it and started to read it as he drank his tea. Sirius was looking at him, he could feel it. It was a rather uncomfortable silence, until his cousin spoke.

“So... Snape stopped by yesterday. He was concerned, about you. Which I get, though, we were concerned too. He told us about this fight that you had, a few days ago, and I understand if you don’t want to talk to him, because...well it’s Snivellus and he’s a git, I would know, the point is-“

“ I know for a fact that you tried to kill him in your fifth year. If he is a git, what are you?” He heard Mr. Potter choke with his coffee. When he raised his eyes from the newspaper his cousin was staring at him, very pale. “I don’t care for what you did when you were a kid, neither should you care for your stupid rivalry at school. I think I could live without you talking bad about him to me. If you don’t stop insulting him, I will insult Potter in front of you which I don’t believe you would like. Trust me, I have more imagination than you two for cruel nicknames.”

And then Mr. Potter started laughing, which caused Sirius to laugh and the awkward moment disappeared.

“Sure thing, kid. I have training in not insulting Snape because of Lily, I can tutor this one until he stops with the insults.” Draco just nodded at that. Maybe if he was lucky they would have forgot about the real topic of the conversation. But he was never lucky.

“What Sirius was actually trying to say it’s that you have to talk to someone. Whether it’s your godfather or a friend or even us, you need to tell someone what the deal is so you are not alone in this.”

He wanted to die right there and then actually. That’s what he wanted. When Death offered the deal he didn’t realize that he would have to go through all of this. The questions, the meddling, to have people worried about him with hope that he would not die. The most curious thing is that Draco always believed he would die young, he didn’t know when exactly but he could feel it in the deep of his soul, carved into his bones. When Death asked for his own life he was just glad she didn’t asked him to kill himself right there, because Draco wasn’t scared of dying, he was just a coward that couldn’t take his own life. This was easier, it would just happen to him. He hesitated to tell them. On the bright side he would be relieved to talk to someone who didn’t actually cared for him all that much, not like Severus did; on the other side, once they hear what he had to get they would meddle, trying to help him or whatever, giving him hope and he didn’t need that.

“ If I tell you-“ He stopped talking when he heard Sirius do a little happy noise. This was a thirty-five year old man doing a happy noises because his fifteen year old cousin was trusting him with a secret. If he didn’t consider Sirius as family before, from then on he absolutely did. He contained himself so he would not smile before he continued. “If I tell you, you CAN’T talk to anyone about this: not Severus, not the Weasleys, and I can not express it more clearly than this: NOT POTTER.”

Sirius couldn’t contain his chuckles at that, but promptly nodded as if he sensed that the blond boy was definitely not joking. Then Draco turned to look at Mr. Potter who promessed not to tell a soul, under no circumstances, because he owed him his second chance in everything.

“Fine. The reason I don’t want to tell anyone it’s because I know they are going to try to give me hope. I know I don’t stand a chance in this, that’s why I would like to travel and live this two years as intense as I can, because there is no chance, I’m sure of it.”

They gave him a painful look and nodded, they clearly didn’t want to interrupt him and say something that would change Draco’s mind about telling them. So he just kept talking.

“I’m in love with this boy since forever, when it started I didn’t even understand what love was” Draco smiled at the memory of the butterflies that he got at Potter’s first quidditch game, he felt so weird that went to Madam Pomfrey and said he was feeling sick. The blond boy shook his head coming back to reality. “He’s straight. It’s such a cruel joke, really. She didn’t gave me a chance to live, she gave me a suicidal mission: ‘You shall have two years to get the heart you crave for, otherwise you will come to join me in my realm. The love that flourishes in your heart will take your life.’ See? It’s useless for me to do anything else than enjoy what’s left, that was her mercy in all of this.”

The silence was too painful after that, he was dying for someone to crack a joke to lighten the mood... He knew it was all very depressing but still. He had pulled his knees to his chest to use as a shield, to protect himself a little from how vulnerable he felt. Then he heard Sirius muttered a weird word he couldn’t fully understand. His cousin had a very sad look in his eyes. Mr Potter asked him what was wrong, if he could help and then Sirius spoke louder.

“It’s Hanahaki Disease. Runs in the family actually.” He said it with such pity, and even though Draco didn’t know what the hell he was talking about he wanted to punch him in the face for that tone only.

“I don’t know what that is.” And Draco didn’t like to admit when he didn’t know something. He studied everything, knew all the pureblood customs by heart, he read ancient magic books for FUN, Salazar. He should always just know things.

“It’s a very painful way to die, that’s what it is. Death didn’t even hide it, she outright said it. ‘The love that flourishes in your heart will take your life’... the love acts like a seed, eventually you will have flowers inside of you and start coughing petals, when the roots take over your lungs, they will strangle your heart to death.”

Well, Draco did not expected that, to be honest. He just blinked, frozen in place. Of course he wouldn’t just live in peace for two years and then leave. How was he so fucking naive??

“Do you know anything more? You said it was a family thing.”

Sirius nodded.

“ Yeah, A few generations back I had an Aunt that died from that. My hag of a mother used to tell me that’s what happens when you fall in love, you just die. I was so terrified to get it one day that I read all the books in the library where it was mentioned.”

Draco couldn’t help but to feel such admiration...Sirius was psychologically abused for years by this awful woman and he could still find it in himself to speak about it as it was just that: a part of his life that ended. The blond boy wished he could do the same when he talked about his father. Actually, Draco just wished he could talk about his father at all, period. His thoughts were interrupted by Mr. Potter’s voice.

“Padfoot, do you know a way to stop it? Or a treatment?”

“There is none, the cure is only one and it’s exactly what Draco has been told... Unrequited love heals when the beloved returns the feelings of the one with the disease.” He paused a little before he went on. “The only thing I can say it’s the one thing you don’t want to hear.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Just think about it, She must be fair. You could only bring James back because his death wasn’t suppose to happen... what if she really gave you fair game too?” Sirius was getting anxious, he could noticed it because of the way that the words started to come out of his mouth, fast, urgent. “You are so young. I don’t know who is it that you are in love with, if he is older or not , but if he’s at Hogwarts? Darling, he could be into guys and just doesn’t know it. Hell, he could be keeping it hidden because he’s in the closet. You know how many straight-passing bisexual guys I knew at school? Tons, I swear.”

This is what he didn’t want. He cried enough about Potter only liking girls to have someone telling him that maybe he was just confused or outright lying to everyone. Potter couldn’t lie for shit, it was one of the things he loved about him. He was so proud of him for not lying even after Umbridge’s blood quill. When Draco saw that, he knew he would never love anyone else, at least not like this, so all consuming. Funny enough he would die not loving anyone else in any way, apparently.

“I know you don’t want to hear it, kid, but it sounds as if don’t have other choice but to go for it.”

He gave Mr. Potter the most severe look he could manage before answering.

“I don’t have to do shit, actually. And even if he was, by some miracle, into guys, that does-“ His voice was cracking in the middle of the sentence, he would not cry again after this git! He would not cry again after Harry bloody Potter, and least of all in front of Potter’s father and his godfather. He tried to control his voice, to contained the tears but as he continued talking he realized he was crying and sobbing instead. “That does not mean that he could feel the same. So, if you want to be helpful I beg you to not talk to me about this again.”

He left them sitting at the table with guilty looks on their faces. Draco just ran upstairs and lock himself in Regulus Room again. He hugged himself while he tried to stop the tears but he couldn’t stop. He was just so pathetic. Maybe Sirius mother had been right all along and this was what happen when you fall in love: you die. Because even if Draco wouldn’t have gotten the stupid flower disease, this feeling of longing would had killed him. Maybe someday his heart would have just stop working because of all the times it was broken about the same stupid thing. Wouldn’t that had been better than heart strangulation, Merlin.

[pvtteralbvs]

❝ But before I go, remember one thing, promise me one thing: be brave when you’re afraid. ❞ ALBUS POTTER looks a lot like that muggle, CHANCE PERDOMO, right? Only 20 years old, that SLYTHERIN alumnus works as an EMPLOYEE IN THE DEPARTMENT OF INTERNATIONAL MAGICAL COOPERATION and is sided with the ORDER OF THE PHOENIX. HE identifies as CIS MAN and is a HALFBLOOD [ ADOPTED ]. [ PLOT ARC 30, PROPHECY 15, THE MEDIATOR. ]

DEATH TW. so albus was adopted by the potters when he was only one. his birth parents, a halfblood couple from london, were murdered in their home one night when al was just a baby; the result of a past affair gone wrong. whether he was left alive because he was merely a child or because the murderer didn’t realize he was asleep upstairs remains unclear, but he was the only one still alive when the team of aurors arrived, among them harry potter. unfortunately, albus had no other living relatives that could take him in, and his situation hitting close to home for harry, he and ginny made the decision to adopt him. END DEATH TW. 

so yeah, al grew up with the potters from a young age, and is just so, so grateful to have been adopted by them. while he has sometimes wondered what his birth parents were like and what his life would have looked like had they lived — really, who wouldn’t? — al loves the life he’s been given and wouldn’t change it for the world. he’s never once had to doubt the love of his family — it’s clear in their every action — and the same can be said for al. he loves them more than anything in the world, and really would do anything for them. 

when it came time for al to go to hogwarts, he was quite nervous about his sorting, but quickly found that slytherin really was the right fit for him. he’s ambitious, resourceful and holds a great deal of self-preservation, and his house helped him hone his skills and develop them. 

he was always a really hard-working student and often one of the top in his classes, so that plus his helpful and friendly nature made him a good fit for prefect in his fifth year, and he eventually became head student in his last year which he was rly proud of hjfsgdj

growing up, al was quite an observant child and quickly became interested in politics and the way the world worked. somewhat cynical, he couldn’t help but notice the flaws in the system more so than the things they got right, and felt that he had to do something to make the world a little bit better than it was when he entered it; just do whatever he could. his family have been subjected to countless powerpoint presentations about things he would improve and correct because he is a certified nerd™ hfjkdhkj (still thinks of himself as a Bad Boy™ but that’s just wrong)

would play the sims a lot as a kid to show how he would build a society fjhsdk 

his goal is to one day become minister for magic so he can work on improving life in wizarding uk for its citizens, and he’s currently working as an employee in the department of international magical cooperation. he landed an internship there after he graduated hogwarts, after which they hired him. he really wants to learn as much as he can before he fully pursues his dream, especially in terms of politics, which is why he started his ministry career here. so yeah minister is the longtime goal but i mean he’s gotta try to survive this war first! we’ll see if he succeeds. 

speaking of which… al joined the order pretty much as soon as he was able to, partly because he fully believes in what they stand for, but also because he kind of felt like he had to, coming from the family he does? frankly, the war has terrified him from the start, and he wasn’t sure what he could really contribute to the order; he doesn’t consider himself brave and a big part of him would rather run away than join a battle, but he would never go through with it ( he wouldn’t be able to live with it tbh ). i think it comes down to a fundamental misunderstanding of what bravery means; it doesn’t mean that you feel no fear, just that you try to do what’s right despite it, so like — al is brave, as he fights for the order and what he considers to be right, he just struggles to identify it in himself. he can see it so easily in his friends and family, but when he looks at himself he just considers himself a coward which tbh… isn’t even true? we love insecurity in war verses! besides that he’s pretty confident tho but that’s like. his Big Insecurity you feel 

DEATH TW, PARENTAL DEATH TW. harry’s death just ruined al. he keeps replaying the last moments in his mind, wanting to go back and stay with him and fight, do something to help, not just run away. he blames himself, even though he knows deep down it’s not his fault. since the start of the war, al has been terrified of losing someone he loves, but he never really thought it would be his dad - he didn’t really think anyone could get him down. he was harry potter, and he’d already survived so much, so surely he would survive this war too. finding out that he didn’t almost made al lose hope - if his dad didn’t make it, what chance did the rest of them have?

that said, when al found out about the resurrection, he was horrified. he missed his dad more than anything, but in al’s mind, there are things you simply don’t mess with, and death is top of that list. it goes against every natural law and the fact that his sister and the other knights managed to do it made him nauseous. he’s angry at lily for her actions, but more than anything he’s mad at himself - he should have made more efforts to reach out to her and support her in her grief, even though they’re in different locations. if he had been a better brother, maybe he could have helped her through it and known about the plans in advance so he could stop it

not only is he horrified that they pulled harry back from death, when he was finally at peace, but the loss of his godfather in doing so was a punch to the stomach and more grief than he knows how to handle. losing neville was something none of them saw coming; losing the only other father figure he has, and knowing that the longbottoms are now suffering as much as he and his family is, is something he never imagined or wished would happen. all the grief he’s been feeling have returned tenfold and he doesn’t really know how to handle it

because of his belief of how wrong the resurrection was ( and as part of his plot arc ), al is trying to convince the order not to restore harry’s memories. he knows some might find it strange or even cold for him to take that stance when he can have his dad back, but the thought of them having snatched harry from peace wrecks him. he feels like the least they can do for him now is allow him to live the rest of his life out in peace, away from the horrors of the war. what he doesn’t admit is that part of the reason he’s so against bringing harry’s memories back is because if his dad returns to fighting in the war, there’s a chance they can lose him again, and al doesn’t think he can survive that loss a second time 

nr 1 ginny weasley defence squad over here. losing harry made al realize how much he’s taken his parents for granted? not in terms of like — ignoring them or not appreciating them enough throughout his life, because he always has, but he never imagined he would lose them? he always thought they would be there? but now harry is gone but also back but also not really and it’s a mess and neville is gone too and it’s just ginny left and al is absolutely terrified, he is so scared something will happen to her too, or to one of his siblings. he doesn’t share that with anyone, really, especially his mum, she has enough on her plate, but he wishes he could just take her, lily, and james away somewhere safe so he could look out for them  because he cannot stand the thought of losing them. he just can’t and he’s so afraid. END DEATH TW, PARENTAL DEATH TW.

okay in terms of prophecies al’s one says that he ‘is destined to achieve true greatness. however, it will come at the price of what they hold most dear. they will be tested in ways they cannot imagine, and if they do not persevere through it, everything will be doomed.’ so that definitely starts out good but then sounds terrible! al honestly wishes he didn’t hear it and he’s trying to forget it but it’s hard. achieving greatness sounds good and all, especially for someone who has been dreaming of helping make the world a better place as minister since he was a kid, but at the cost of losing what he holds most dear? no fucking thank you. he’s absolutely terrified it means he might lose more family members, because they’re the ones he cares about most in the world, and he just can’t go through that again. he can’t. he wishes it won’t come true but also the warning that if he doesn’t persevere through it they’re all fucked isn’t very reassuring so altogether he’s Not Pleased!

anyways when describing characters as different types of lights, jane said al was a guiding lighthouse, looking out for the people in the night, and that really is the best description of him i can imagine tbh 

but yeah, to sum him up, he’s got that Potter Sass™ and can be a hypocritical pain sometimes, but he’s quite friendly and charismatic and he’s got a good head on his shoulders and right now he is Suffering™ because of the war and what it’s doing to his family 

i think his patronus might be a thestral but i need to muse more on it and also what sort of codename that could give that isn’t like…. death related gfhjsdgfk idt they need that, so i hope it’s okay i add that later!! 

[o0o-chibaken-o0o]

Communal 2018 Drarry Rec List

IT’S HERE, EVERYBODY!!! And it’s long! Thank you so so much to everyone who sent in their favorite fics written in 2018! To make this easier to navigate, I’ve created categories that make sense to me based on this collection of fics — obviously many fit into multiple categories, but I tried my best to place them accurately! I had so much fun looking through these and talking to everyone about their favorite fics, and I’m already super excited to do this again next year!! :D

Note that all recs were written by the person who submitted each fic, and they are in no particular order within their categories :) 

ENJOY! 

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EIGHTH YEAR

The Nightmare Club by Elle Gray / @diligent-thunder (85K)- Hermione and Ron are going back to Hogwarts to do N.E.W.T.s, Ginny isn't. Harry hasn't decided, until he has, in front of the Wizengamot and now he's responsible for Malfoy as well. A tale of enemies who learn to get along, get it wrong and get it on. Everything is purple, some things are on fire and no-one is sleeping properly. But don't worry, there's tea! Wishing you could curl up on a purple couch in an eighth year common room stocked with hundreds of varieties of tea and eavesdrop on our favorite Hogwarts kids as they attempt to adjust to a normal school year? If you love awkward miscommunications, snuggling, open minded acceptance, kind-hearted friends, and—of course—mutual pining, this fic is for you. 

Sex and The Art of Castle Maintenance by birdsofshore (15K)- "Come on, boys," Zabini drawled. "You’re only delaying the inevitable." Trouble always had a way of finding Harry, and eighth year was obviously going to be no exception. The antagonism, tension, and heat leaps off the screen, and I could NOT put this story down. 

To Hurt and Heal by @cassisluna (21.5K)- They say that everybody who gets out of Azkaban comes out a little mad. After the war, Draco Malfoy spends three months in Azkaban. He just wants to go insane in peace, but Harry Potter finds that he, inexplicably, still can't leave Draco alone. I went into this expecting angst, but by the end I got Eighth Year fluff and a whole lot of eating breakfast. Can't say I didn't love it.

Orbit by HenryMercury (52.5K)- "The classical problem of celestial mechanics, perhaps of all Newtonian mechanics, involves the motion of one body about another under the influence of their mutual gravitation." *They don't like each other. They're not friends. There's not even a ceasefire of any sort because they're fighting as much as ever—but there's definitely something different about it. An added layer of self-awareness they don't dare identify, but which colours every Scared, Potter? and Do your worst; each You wouldn't dare and Then prove it. 8th year fic that does such a fabulous job of bringing Harry and Draco together, that makes their pairing so realistic, even non-drarry shippers would be able to see the appeal. 

Once Upon a Time by @fantom-ftnoise (12.5K)- This is the story of Hansel & Gretel - er, that is, Harry & Draco. A wonderful retelling of Hansel and Gretel, with amazing (and delightfully creepy) sensory descriptions, humour, nail-biting tension and a glorious happy ending. 

Eighteen Kisses by tigersilver (10K)- Harry is being targeted by a very determined and wily Malfoy, a Malfoy with sly hands and a sweet, sweet mouth. The story features adorably fluffy Draco and insanely flustered Harry, with chocolate and sweet kisses 

It takes 36 Questions to fall in love by @gnarf (14K)- After returning to Hogwarts for their 8th year, Harry and Draco can't seem to stop fighting, much to the irritation of staff and students alike. Their last fight escalated and Harry and Draco are forced to room together by a pretty angry Headmistress. They will have to stay in their new quarters until they overcome their differences. But it wouldn’t be McGonagall if she didn’t have a plan. To help them achieve this goal (and to save everyone else from going crazy because of them) she gave them a charmed parchment that will ask a series of personal questions. Over the next couple of days they'll learn much more about each other than they could ever have imagined. A precious they-finally-start-understand-eachother story that left me feeling fuzzy and happy 

Oblivious by lealamalfoy / @gregqoyle (17.5K)- Harry doesn't believe his Amortentia's scent is correct, and starts questioning the potion and his feelings. Of course Malfoy, of all people, is the one to answer these questions Harry's lack of communication with the female population and Draco's lack of communication with Harry is infuriating to new levels

Heart of Silver/Heart of Gold by @lettersbyelise (54.5K)- Draco Malfoy, a young demon specialising in school bullying, has lived hundreds of uneventful lives. Until his world is turned upside down by his newest assignment a few days before Christmas: to get rid of 8th year classmate Harry Potter, Defeater of Dark Lords and thorn in the side of all things evil. Trouble is, Draco’s world has been upside down for a while… ever since he started having very human feelings for a certain bespectacled Gryffindor. It’s a slow burn fic where Draco is a demon sent to torture and kill Harry buuuuut feelings are involved; also there’s a Niffler names Jeff and some very amusing Ron moments! 

AUROR(S) / CURSE BREAKER(S)

Ten Thousand Reasons Why Not by @lqtraintracks (8.5K)- Harry and Draco are stand-ins for the usual witch who gives the workplace harassment and sexual consent talk to the Auror trainees. Amazingly funny and sexy fic, featuring public UST, great dialogue and banter, and smut to die for.

Changeling by Obscurus343 (86K)- The assignment seems to be an excuse to get the Boy Who Lived away from the press for a while – Head Auror Savage is human, after all. But when they arrive to Barebone Castle, Aurors Potter and Malfoy realize that something sinister may indeed be going on. It's terrifying. It's cursed. It's some next level freaky shit that nobody can explain. But not to worry! Two lovestruck idiots are on the case. warm and funny, with a wonderfully crafted cast, spooky mystery and more handholding and cuddling than your heart can take

Cold Like Fire by @queenofthyme (12K)- Head Auror Harry Potter had no problem with mandatory consent training for his team. He’d actually been looking forward to it, that is, until he discovered who the teacher was. Now, he had no idea how he was going to get through the training without throwing a hex at Draco Malfoy. Or a punch. This fic is absolutely hilarious and full of so many wonderful drarry-y moments! 

The Partner, the Rival and the Very Big Case by oceaxe (24.5K)- When Harry and Nott are paired up to go undercover as fake boyfriends, Draco is disappointed not to get the assignment. It's just professional jealousy that's making him feel so upset. Obviously. He's engaged to be married to Astoria, after all.But when he walks in on Nott kissing Harry for 'practice' and has a wild magic outbreak, he starts to think that something else might be going on. Is Nott right? Is Draco a homophobe? Or is there... just possibly... another explanation? Funny as hell and sexy too, it features a Draco grappling with his attraction to Harry, his jealousy regarding him, and his own sexuality, when their partnership gets split up for a case. 

Cabin in the Forest by @justdrarryme (23K)- Of course Harry would get partnered with Malfoy when Ron leaves the Aurors, nothing in his life could ever be easy. What he hadn't counted on though were his feelings for the other man. Or, Harry and Draco get trapped in a Bundling Bed and are forced to work their shit out. The art that this fic is based on (by ano-ka-ba) is incredible, and the way these two get out of their predicament is hot as hell. 

Still Catch The Tide by @dwell-the-brave, art by Razielim and Apriicat (57K)- When a ravaged body is found on Blackpool beach front, newly partnered Aurors Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are sent to investigate. This is a make-or-break case for Harry - solve the case and not scare his partner away, or risk his career. But when another body appears, and another, this mystery goes far deeper than either of them could have imagined. from Big Bang, this Auror partners casefic has suspense, rich writing with a thread of melancholy, and gorgeous art.

In Our Blood by @secretsalex (38K)- Draco is an accomplished pure-blood curse breaker, and Harry is tasked with accompanying him on his latest job—cleaning up the Van Boer mansion, which has been under a devastating fertility curse for seven generations. reading this is like watching a gorgeously shot, terrifying horror film. Don't let that scare you off - it's compelling and will leave you thinking about it long after you close the tab. 

COMING OUT / LGBT+ THEMES

Little Compton Street (One Rainy Night in Soho) by @writcraft (65.5K)- Draco is lonely, Harry hates the press and it won’t stop raining in London. Harry discovers a magical street that’s close to disappearing forever and Draco realises he’s one rainy night in Soho away from finding everything he’s been searching for. This fic is a BEAUTIFUL ode to LGBT culture and community, and was so so moving in addition to being an extremely entertaining read with a great relationship between Harry and Draco

Rookie Moves by Elle Grey / @diligent-thunder (60K)- So the war's over and Harry's a Rookie Auror, and everything seems... fine? I mean, he's single, his life is mostly work and he hasn't been out in ages and he's tired and annoyed most of the time, and he should probably be a bit more social, but the last time he kissed a girl he had to Obliviate her... but that's normal, right? And then Robards throws him a file, yells at him a bit and he finds himself guarding Malfoy of all people, and maybe that little feeling in his gut he thought he'd disproved as indigestion once and for all.... maybe was something else. Something lots gayer. A tragically under appreciated coming out fic that legit made me laugh so hard I cried.

Around You Moves by ignatiustrout / @dracomalfoyofficial (29.5K)- Harry knew Draco was gay when he invited him to move in. He’s never had a problem with this. So why does he feel so weird about Draco bringing men home all of a sudden? a fabulous fic in which Harry thinks he’s homophobic when he hates seeing Draco with other men ... and then he realizes a few things about himself ;)

Harry Potter and the Bisexual Awakening by @writcraft (23K)- Harry is perfectly content being single, heterosexual and living in Godric's Hollow with his very clingy rescue dog, Snitch. When Draco Malfoy turns up on Harry's doorstep demanding that Harry teach him how to drive, things quickly become a lot more complicated. Funny, sharply-written and sexy, HPatBA has everything I love about reading drarry (snark and UST, fantastic prose, emotional connection and hot sex) but brings an awesome new perspective to coming out, in queer fic.

When You Kiss Me (What a Lovely Way to Burn) by @femmequixotic (22K)- A drag fairytale of New York in which Draco wears red lipstick and Potter can’t get enough A fantastic piece of writing that explores a genderqueer Draco, working at a drag club in New York, where he sees Harry for the first time in years. (note from chibi: THIS FIC IS SO BEAUTIFUL IT WILL GIVE YOU A SEXUAL AWAKENING AND I WANT TO HOLD IT CLOSE FOREVER)

DANCING/CLUBBING

Kill, Fuck, Marry by @lettersbyelise (12.5K)- Malfoy leans toward him with a baleful look. “I do believe Pansy Parkinson, my best friend, paid you to spend the evening with me. It’s my birthday, Potter. So you’re going to get off your Gryffindor arse, and you’re going to dance with me. I want to dance. I want to win. I want that bloody trophy on my shelf before the end of the night.” Harry and Draco unexpectedly meet again on Draco’s birthday, years after their last encounter. Incredulity, banter, witty conversation, gin and tonics and impromptu dancing ensue. It’s only natural, of course, that Draco would expect his birthday night to finish with a bang… Perfectly in-character dialogue and great heat during what starts as an awkward, unintended date between Draco and Harry.  Two Truths and all those Hidden Lies by @keyflight790 (7.5K)- It didn’t matter whether Draco knew about the Polyjuice or not; nor did it matter what face Harry deigned to hide behind in the club. Draco could spot Potter a mile away. Polyjuice could change his face. It could change the way his hair sat along his scalp, and the color of his eyes, and the shape of his lips. It could change his height and the way his muscles rippled beneath his shirt. It could change the swell of his arse, the length of his... Not that Draco was thinking of that. The fact that Draco can recognize Harry even without his awful glasses and stupid scar warms my heart every time. 

Brick by Brick by @agentmoppet (8K)- There’s something between the two of them, something that builds beneath the smoky lights of the club and grows stronger during midnight conversations held on a rooftop high above the streets of London. But Draco wants to wait. deals beautifully with consent and all the waiting the two men go through to build something that is not just sex. 

ANGST & HURT/COMFORT

Away Childish Things by @letteredlettered (154K)- Harry gets de-aged. Malfoy has to help him. “You’re crying over that fan fiction about the children again, aren’t you.” -my husband

I could be wrong, I could be ready by @harryromper (57.5K)- (...) Harry Potter left Britain after the war and didn’t look back. Ten years later, when Gringotts discovers a vault containing his parents’ belongings—including their badly spell-damaged wedding rings—he’s forced to face up to friends and family who’ve grown in ways he could never imagine, a wizarding London rebuilt beyond his expectations, and the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. And if that wasn’t enough, there’s the entirely unforeseen problem of Draco Malfoy. Featuring pureblood wizarding traditions, ancestral magic, open mic nights, marriage equality, a diner in Brooklyn, and the return of Fleamont Potter. I am like ......so overwhelmed by how this fic is so amazing like my goodness

Chocolate and Pastry by @agentmoppet, art by @anemonensblog (50.5K)- When Pansy bets Draco that there is no chance he and Harry could carry out a genuine romantic relationship, he and Harry form a plan. But as their fake relationship progresses, Draco sees a side of Harry he never expected. Harry is struggling with something, pushing it far down inside him where he doesn't have to acknowledge its existence. Draco starts to worry, and then he starts to care, and then... horribly... he starts to fall in love. Fake relationships are always fantastic, but this one just hits you right in the feels, and is so beautiful!!

Things You’ve Told Him All Along by thirdeyeblinkings (19K)- Anonymous fire calls, blind dates, awkward run-ins, and kissing in the d-a-r-k. But besides all that, a story about hiding, coming out, and starting over (and over). It is so wonderfully written with artist!Draco and it tackles mental health issues just beautifully.

you’ve got the antidote for me by Kandakicksass (20.5K)- When Harry Potter unintentionally severs their soulbond before it can fully form, Draco Malfoy resigns himself to a slow death and decides not to burden Harry with a soulmate he's made it very clear he doesn't want. He's never been selfless before, but for Harry, he can try. This fic is wonderful and devastating and one of the best I’ve ever read. I think I cried 5 times while reading this but it’s worth it because it’s so beautifully written.

Antlers and Ivy by @violetclarity (19K)- The thing is, Draco has always known he wouldn’t be able to marry his soulmate. Finding out his soulmate is Harry Potter shouldn’t change anything. Or: soulmarks, a masquerade ball, and gratuitous use of The Daily Prophet as a plot device. A beautiful examination of the soulmate trope, filled with longing that made me ache and a resolution that made me want to cheer. 

That Which Marks You by @belleslettres-love (8K)- After the war, Harry is struggling… He knows his heart should be aching from the loss of his loved ones. Instead, he feels nothing. Draco feels everything… cold, hunger, pain from being forced out of the Wizarding world… forced to be a beggar—or worse—just to survive. When Harry sees Draco, shivering on a street corner, he knows one thing: Draco Malfoy is the only one who can make him feel. It starts with dark!Harry which is not my thing usually, but it devolves into cute relationship that we all love.

SLOW BURN

Charming Chocolates by @fantom-ftnoise (100.5K)- The summer following the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry Potter visited his parents' graves and disappeared in a mysterious attack. His wand was recovered but the trail soon went cold and the world moved on. Twelve years later, Remus Lupin discovers James Charming, of Charming Chocolates, a mute man with no memories before July of 1998. James Charming, father of identical twin boys and loving boyfriend to a Scottish Muggle named Monty, is ripped out of his comfortable life and forced to rediscover Hogwarts, magic, and a whole world of past memories. His Mind Healer helps him to balance his new life with his old memories. A rift is formed between James and Monty, and he finds himself wanting to spend more and more time with Healer Malfoy. Meanwhile, Auror Weasley tries to solve the mystery of who is out for Harry Potter's head before it's too late. A breathtaking, heart-warming, story that explores trauma, disability, dysfunctional relationships, family, bravery and love.

Nero su bianco by zuzallove (35K)- September 1997. Hogwarts is under the regime of Voldemort and the Carrows. Finding himself alienated by both his friends and his supposed enemies, Draco puts quill to parchment, and writes letters. He addresses them to the only person he can think of, as Hogwarts rapidly falls into chaos and ruin: Harry Potter. He goes to great lengths to ensure the letters are never discovered, and he’s pretty certain he’s done a great job. Until the day of his trial. Its heartbreakingly sad, beautiful and funny at the same time featuring Trial!Draco required to reveal his feelings/true self in front of the Wizengamot

It actually hurts by @parkkate (52K)- For years, Draco has tried to avoid Harry Potter. He just knows he’ll make a fool out of himself if they spent more than five minutes in a room together. Unfortunately, Potter suddenly seems intent on becoming Draco’s friend, but neither of them are prepared for the inevitable consequences... There is so much love and emotion in this, so much body-positivity and so much pining - it’s simply beautiful.

Never Grow a Wishbone by ShanaStoryteller (65K WIP)- She almost smiles, and true alarm starts to build in his chest. “I’m afraid I’m not here for something so small. Professor Roberts has resigned.” “Good,” Draco says honestly, “Would you like a list of suitable alternatives? I know a number of competent potions masters abroad, but then of course you’d have to hire another teacher to act as the Slytherin head. I’m afraid you’ve dried up all the half decent Slytherin Potions masters.” “Not all of them,” she says quietly. [...] a hogwarts professor au which consists of a lot of world building and lore

CREATURE FIC

Soup-pocalypse and the Great Curry Cataclysm by SquadOfCats (104.5K)- Eleven years after the war, Draco Malfoy leads a quiet, boring, and perfectly respectable life, thanks very much. Or, at least he does, until a sudden and very unexpected veela awakening causes him to throw soup all over Harry Potter in the middle of the Ministry cafeteria. This is a fantastic take on the classic creature fic, which plays into some Veela tropes and turns others on their heads; very funny and warm and realistic drarry, too. 

Hush, Darling by @magpiefngrl (23.5K)- Draco is in trouble. To get out of it he needs to seduce Harry Potter. One of the coolest, most original creature fics ever, featuring Draco as an Incubus who's tasked, under threat, with getting something from Harry -- who he makes the mistake of falling in love with. 

In The Red by @bixgirl1 (45.5K)- When Harry goes looking for a vampire at a Creature club, the second-to-last thing Harry expects is to find Malfoy working there. The last thing he expects is to fall in love with him. It's so beautifully written I gasped, so hot I died, and so damn good I'm going to reread it for years to come.

ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE(S)

Tangiers by @magpiefngrl (4K)- The one where Harry and Draco are archaeologists, ex boyfriends and seeking the same priceless and possibly cursed object. Featuring a revolver, the spirits of dead monks and a bed they can hardly fit in. Adventurous, sexy and highly relatable, the AU of AUs, ladies and gentlemen, a masterfully crafted tale that feels simultaneously fantastical and down to earth, that includes a substantial backstory that left me wanting more, that presents a version of Harry and Draco that is incredibly true to the characters and kept me on my toes every second. 

Purple, Peach and Vibrant Green by @queenofthyme (3.5K)- Draco Malfoy has a waiter pretend to be his date to impress an ex. Of course, it helps when that waiter is exceedingly attractive and happens to be Harry Potter. Solid fic. 5/10. (note from chibi: @jadepresley is very rude to her friends but she actually loves this super cute fic and so will you) 

Men Who Love Dragons Too Much by fencer_x, art by @danasauurrr (479K)- [Extensive re-telling of Deathly Hallows] As in Half-blood Prince, Draco is charged by Voldemort with killing Dumbledore—only instead of trying to do his best with the challenge, he realizes he’s been set a futile task and focuses on finding a way to save both himself and his parents. He eventually decides to spend his sixth year studying Animagecraft, convinced it's his best shot at escaping the impossible situation he's found himself in. But just his luck, his Animagus form turns out to be a dragon, and a rather randy juvenile at that, intent on finding its mate: one Harry James Potter. from Big Bang, an inventive and unique story with Draco as a dragon animagus, and a retelling of Deathly Hallows. With art! 

Every Me and Every You by @bixgirl1 (69.5K)- Harry liked his life just fine, thankyouverymuch — so it was bad enough when a sly fairy cursed him to leap into alternate realities. But seeing Malfoy in all of them? Definitely way too much. And worse yet: needing the bastard's help to figure out how to get out of of it. It was a disaster waiting to happen, really. Well... probably. Fabulously written, stunningly complex and multi-layered, with sizzling tension between H/D, LEGILIMENCY SEX (and other hot, hot sex), inventively plotted, perfect in every single way.

survival is a talent by ShanaStoryteller (219K WIP)- In the middle of their second year, Draco and Harry discover they're soulmates and do their best to keep it a secret from everyone.Their best isn't perfect. a soulmate au that starts in 2nd year, when harry and draco find out that they’re soulmates - my favorite fic ever 

FAMILY / KID!FIC

All I Want For Christmas (Is For You To Stop Talking) by @femmequixotic and @noeeon (163K)- The Niffler's Garden is the most prestigious wizarding nursery school in England and has been for the last century or more. Harry Potter's boys are both enrolled as pupils at the Garden. When he volunteers to assist with the Yule pageant, he has no idea that he'll be working closely with another parent, Draco Malfoy. Although they haven't seen each other much since their own school days, Harry faults Malfoy for not being a hands-on dad to little Scorpius. Will the intense weeks of preparation fan the fires of enmity or something else entirely? This is the most perfect holiday fic ever with children and a pageant and amazing side characters and tons of lovely winter feels! 

Sunshine, Fresh Air, Telly, and Time by frnklymrshnkly (32.5K)- Immediately following the war, Andromeda and Harry must look after Teddy. But who will look after them? a wonderfully loving and bittersweet tale of Draco, Harry, and Narcissa living with Andromeda after the war—all raising Teddy as they grieve and heal together. 

Failed Application of Thought by RuArcher (67K)- Draco sighed, knowing he would live to regret his next words, “I’m willing to do anything it takes to get Scorpius the life he deserves, even if that means pretending to be madly in love with you, you intolerable buffoon.” This is a fabulous fake dating fic filled with all the feelings you could ever desire, and it has one of my favorite Dracos ever-- I just want to wrap him up and protect him and Scorpius forever! 

papa says harry potter helps people by jilliancares (10K)- Draco Malfoy is reintroduced into Harry's life when a little boy enters his shop, lost. The same little boy upends all his bookshelves, which Draco holds himself responsible for. It all kind of escalates from there. contains very adorable Scorpius moments, Harry running a book shop, and Draco and Harry slowly falling for each other. 

POST-HOGWARTS

Ynys Afallach (I will give my Love an Apple) by @femmequixotic and @noeeon (42.5K)- Professor Waverley Root's tutorial in the history of magical food is something of a legend at Flamel College. Draco Malfoy wants to apply it to his work in sustainable wizarding agriculture. Harry Potter's taking it for his interest in historical overlap between the magical and Muggle worlds in the West Country. When Root pairs them together, the fireworks (and the apples!) fly. Now if only they can find something original, perhaps they'll make it through to complete their degrees on time. Okay this fic is highly underrated and needs 5x the current kudos- it has university students!drarry, sexual tension out the roof, amazing use of arthurian legend, brilliant magical theory, and is just all around brilliant as fuck!!

Silver Soul by @dracoismytrashson (75K)- It's about a year after the war, and Draco is a bit of a London hipster working at a record store. Harry is lonely and confused about what to do with his life so hanging out with Draco and listening to shoegaze records to pass the time seems like a perfectly viable option. one of my favorite Draco in the Muggle world stories ever. Misunderstandings, softness, snarkiness, shoegaze. 

Tell Me the End at the Beginning by @harryromper (36.5K)- St Mungo’s is the last place anyone wants to spend the festive season. Harry finds himself there anyway. Or: Harry's an Auror suspended from duty, Malfoy's wearing the hell out of three-piece suits, Hermione is entirely over everything, and Kreacher just wants to be left alone to decorate for Christmas. Draco Malfoy wears three-piece suits. Like, if that's not enough to convince you, I don't know what is. 

Chasing Treacle Tart (and Draco Malfoy) by xErised (23K)- Malfoy, who is sentenced to work as a dinner lady in the Ministry canteen, has an annoying habit of withholding desserts from Harry. Harry puts up with it, but when Malfoy stops him from getting his beloved treacle tart, Harry is determined to do something about it. And Ron? He's really just there for the awkward flirting. This fic is funny, sexy, compelling, and just all around delightful :) 

Castle on the Hill by tsundanire/@breathofmine (1.5K)- Based on Ed Sheeran's "Castle on the Hill"Harry takes a "road trip" back to England after spending a few years in Romania working with dragons. It had been 10 years since Harry left, and the honest and pure relationship he built with Malfoy over letters is gorgeous. They both just hope that meeting again after all that time will be just as wonderful. (and it is) 

Highly (in)Compatible by @gracie137blogs (37.5K)- Draco’s been shagging The Prat Who Lived on and off for a few months when his soul mark starts to change. Draco’s had to accept a lot of adjustments to his life, but accepting that Harry Potter could be his soulmate is one step too far. It can’t be true? Can it? One of the best takes on soulmates I’ve read with excellent magical theory and an exploration of free will, and which includes a wonderful cast of characters and lots of humour and banter; Draco’s voice here is fantastic.

The Kitchen Thieves (and the Kitchen Herself) by @potteresque_ire (Pie) (67K)- In a deserted cottage miles away from Hogsmeade, two young spirits waited for a new owner to call the place home. One day, Auror Harry Potter bought the cottage. One evening, farm wizard Draco Malfoy showed up to spend the night with Harry...and steal a pepper shaker from the kitchen. Maybe Kate can tell you all about them? She’s the spirit who looks after the kitchen, and she’s got quite a bit to say… Pie took the sentient houses trope and ran with it; utterly unique fic, with incredible rich characterisations and an emotional arc that had me reading the last part through copious (happy) tears. 

SMUT

In the dark, the light by Phrynne (32K)- ‘Potter… It’s Malfoy. Do you still want this?’ It started like that. Malfoy’s breath on his ear, his voice low, hot against his skin. Harry shivered, though he could feel the heat from Malfoy’s body just behind him, too close, but not touching him. Even if he could. For the rest of the night, he could do whatever the hell he wanted with Harry. The best bdsm I’ve EVER read.

Whole New Kinds of Weather by @lower-east-side (2.5K)- She’s just as compelling as she’s ever been. Incredible UST, perfect dialogue, scorching, fabulous sex, and Draco as genderqueer: a fic not to be missed.

Kettle by @magpiefngrl (3.5K)- Draco likes to put up a fight. The most tender exploration of hardcore kink within a loving, committed relationship that I've ever read, and hot as hell, too.

In Deep by @lqtraintracks (9K)- Harry isn't sure when he went from hating Malfoy's snide, smug mouth to wanting that mouth all over his cock. Gorgeously hot exploration of BDSM kink in a new relationship that manages to be tender and sweet at the same time.

DEFIES CATEGORIZATION (by me at this time)

Love Him More by @bixgirl1 (17.5K)- A love story. Several of them, really. Delicate, bruising, and uplifting all at once. 

The Drarry Sestina by @julcheninred (<1K)- Sometimes I dream I’m bleeding from my scars... This gorgeously written poem took my breath away and left me haunted but ever hopeful for Draco and for the both of them 

Dwelling by aideomai (83.5K)- Curses, James and Lily Potter ride again, several Ministry balls, a teenage Summer of Love, a grim young adult dystopian winter, a few different Draco Malfoys, secrets and the problems re: not having any, alternate lives, impossible lives, real lives, allusions to Dirty Dancing, and just because it's not called the Mirror of Erised doesn't mean you shouldn't know better. The most mind-blowing fic I read this year, a story that allows the reader to see how much it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, besides giving us a delightful relationship development and some seriously hot moments, all wrapped in a glorious package of plot and overall awesomeness.

A Holiday in Provence by @dracoismytrashson (32K)- Harry Potter is turning 50 years old and feeling lonelier than ever. Divorced, retired, and learning he’s not quite as straight as he thought he was, Harry reluctantly accepts a birthday gift from his friends for a week’s stay at an idyllic French vineyard. Too bad Hermione and Ron neglected to mention that the owner of the winery happens to be a certain quick-witted blond Slytherin… The world-building and the dynamic between the characters in this is nothing short of magical. 

Memories of Draco Malfoy by ImmortalAcorn (14K)- “He had to live, I knew. Without him there would not be much to see. I guess the world would be just ashes and smoke and blood - that's at least how I imagined it. He had to live. Whatever it would take.” a series of short poems (I guess) about Draco and their relationship. There is another one, from Harrys perspective. They are short but perfect. Angst is real and sooooooo good.

‘Til Our Compass Stands Still by china_nightingale (9K)- "It was an unconventional relationship, if one could call it that. It was the way it had always been - bodies colliding while lips stayed closed, dueling and caressing and ripping one another open while hearts stayed locked safely behind cages covered in bruises from curses and kisses. There were never many words spoken. If they talked, chances were that ugly things would tumble from their tongues like they did so easily during their Hogwarts days." Harry and Draco eventually realise that things don't always go to plan, even if it's a plan they've been carefully crafting to keep themselves safe from each other. a little harsh and gritty, but so full of unspoken love <3 

Thank you again to everyone who contributed!!: @dracothecupcake @ebbet @keyflight790  @bixgirl1 @magpiefngrl @hogwartsfirebolt @amrame @bonzicatgirl @lillyevans @harryandhislittledragon @hermionejeangranger @lower-east-side @jadepresley @findingsilencetheymadelove @lqtraintracks @queendomcosplay @threeh plus several anons!  <3<3<3

I’ve done my best to tag all the writers whose tumblrs I could locate, but if I’ve missed anyone, please let me know so I can tag them!

[fromdecemberwithlove]

I hate Astoria.

I hate her with a burning fire, I hate her like she’s an actual person who had the fucking nerve to crash into my world and steal the most precious thing in my life. I hate her, I hate her, I hate her.

Because the real obstacle for a Draco/Hermione isn’t that they stood on different side of the war, it’s not his backward upbringing, isn’t his last name, isn’t her heritage, and it most definitely isn’t Ron. It’s Astoria fucking Greengrass.

Astoria was created solely for Draco. To give him a heart, to give him some simulant of redemption. Astoria Greengrass was the fuck you J.K.R gave to Dramione shippers all over the world. She looked at us and with absolute cruelty created Astoria out of fucking thin air and gave her Draco’s heart and stole everything good that we, WE, used for YEARS to build a Draco/Hermione relationship.

Because Hermione was supposed to be the one. She was supposed to be the one to find his heart. She was supposed to be the one to open his eyes. She was supposed to stand next to him and fight for him and stand up to his parents and the rest of the Wizarding World. Hermione made perfect sense.

But it wasn’t enough to just create a half backed substitute, no, no, too easy, too gentle, why stop there, right? J.K.R had to go and fucking kill the fucking bitch in the most Greek tragedy way possible just to drive the point further.

There, see what you’re going to do now that I made him love her like no other, that I created her to give him a son he cherishes more than anything, see what you can fucking do with your silly little stories and your plot twist and your ridiculous stories now that I killed this poor soul who only lived enough to give Draco Malfoy a heart and a reason to be better and killed her off so he can never, ever, love another woman the same way. Go, you pathetic little girls, go and try to pretend that you can still have him redeemed by Hermione when in canon he’ll forever mourn his wife, his wife that he loves, his wife that changed him for the better. Because you can’t win against a ghost.

And while some days I can forget about Astoria. While I can read fanfics and bask in the amazing, beautiful feeling that Dramione is the only thing that makes sense, sometimes my mind slips and Astoria is there and that fucking epilogue is there and the snippets I know about that stupid play are there and despite him enjoying being bossed around by our favorite bookworm, my heart hurts. It hurts because she could have put him with Pansy, because Pansy has always been there, Pansy is familiar, Pansy makes sense. Or she could have just fucking killed him off. It would have been so much better to just kill him off.

*sigh*

This is me just ranting so feel free to ignore me and go on with your day (or night, whatever), but today was one of those days where my mind remembered and the pain was too much so I had to let it out. I’ve been keeping it trapped in my head for years. I realize now that I shouldn’t have because that hatred just got worse and the physical ache that comes with it, that cuts me every time is more excruciating than ever.

I know that HP is a children’s book at its very core, and a love story the size of Draco and Hermione would have needed major changes and rewrites. I get all that. But I resent J.K.R all the same for slowly, methodically, killing any Dramione goodness from canon for years. As soon as she realized that people could picture her precious Hermione with the evil, loathsome Malfoy heir, she did everything she could to sway us another way. Long before she put Ron firmly and unequivocally in the way (because let’s not forget she established other stuff with Ron for year: Lavender, ridiculous jealousy, Draco almost killing his sorry ass, that elusive “third scent” in her Amortentia), she wrote that scene in the Manor. That horrible, terrible scene in the Manor. And although in fanfic we all like to rephrase his “…maybe…yeah” into uncertainty and remorse, he still said “yeah”.

He still gave her up, he didn’t give up Harry, but he gave her up. He could have said “no”, he could have said “I don’t know”, but he said yeah. And some might argue that he couldn’t deny it because his mother was there, prompting him with her recollection of Hermione from fucking forever ago, but I don’t buy it. That yeah, that was J.K.R jumping up and down in triumph, see children, doesn’t mean anything to him, he can offer her up because she isn’t important to him, your little broken soul believes Harry will defeat Voldemort so who the fuck cares if Granger dies here. That scene is perfect for a Drarry (I don’t read them but I’m just going to assume that ship loves that scene and for good reasons). I’m not even going to go into that disastrous scene on the tower…HBP is really a heartbreaking book for me. Not because I feel for Draco and what he had to go through, but because it was the beginning of the end. it broke my dramione shipper’s heart.

I won’t go into the whole Severus/Lily shitfest. It never made sense to me because Snape was always nasty and that sudden revelation about his undying love for his own “mudblood” just left a sour taste in my mouth. If anything, that should have been reason enough for a Draco/Hermione arc, not letting past mistake repeat themselves and all that jazz. But noooo. Here, kids, that’s what a real hero looks like, all hail Severus Snape and his oh so grand love for Lily Evans, now absolve him of everything, alright? No, lady, fuck that. At least Draco was never friends with Hermione when he called her that.

But I digress, this started with Astoria and now I’m on a tangent about J.K.R and her silly vendetta because she based Draco on some school yard bully from her childhood and we had the audacity to pair him with her perfect daughter. In the end, they are her books, her characters, her universe… but I’d be much less angry and salty about it if she’d done things with logic instead of out of spite. And that, at the end of the day, just leaves me feeling incredibly sad and a little hollow.

[charlievveasley]

Halloween | Severus Snape

Characters: Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Harry Potter Ships: None Verse: Post War Word Count: 2189

written for @harrypotterbingo

Insufferable. In a word, Halloween was insufferable. Everyone pretending to be something they are not - and all the typical, overly large witch’s hats made him want to be sick. Not to mention the disgusting display of gluttony shown by kids and adults alike as they ate treat after treat - pies, candies, cookies, caramel apples, cakes - you name it, and he was certain they had stuffed it into their mouths. Just watching was going to give him a stomach ache, but he had no choice in the matter. The Headmistress had been clear - he was to be there, and he was to be there for the entire celebration. McGonagall had not been a fan, apparently, of his disappearing act last year for the blasted occasion, and had definitely not believed for an instant that he had suddenly fallen ill. So there he had sat, scowl firmly in place and his arms crossed as he waited for the food to appear before him. It had taken an inordinately long amount of time, and he wasn’t entirely uncertain that it hadn’t been some petty deed on the headmistress’ part. She had never liked him, he was sure of it. 

So when they had finally cleared not only the dessert but the blasted plastic muggle pumpkin buckets filled with every sort of magical and non-magical candy imaginable (an apparently new and equally annoying tradition), he had been the first out of his seat. With a typical flurry of black robes, he was striding off the dias where the teachers sat and through the back door, taking a shortcut behind a tapestry to get to a spiral staircase that would take him up six floors to his rooms - which were not, as most believed, in the dungeons. A convenient rumour he sometimes helped to further along, if he were being honest. 

Severus glanced down the hall just for good measure before placing his palm against the small snake curled around the doorknob, and the door melted away before him, only reappearing once he was inside. He breathed a sigh of relief, unfastening his outer cloak and tossing it over the back of his couch as he rubbed at the back of his neck. Retrieving his oldest bottle of scotch from the hidden cabinet in his bookshelf, he paired it with a back issue of Potions Monthly and sat, but he still felt wrong. It was like he could still hear the little gremlins laughing and causing trouble, even though his quarters were deathly silent. With a glower, he shook his head and readjusted himself on the couch, taking another healthy sip of his drink before going back to his reading. He reread the same sentence four times before closing the damn thing and throwing it across the room where it landed with a rather unsatisfying thump on the carpet in front of the fireplace. His eyes stayed on the back cover for a minute before flicking up to the fireplace, and then the mantle. 

The thought wasn’t even fully formed before he was on his feet, and without a backward glance, he had taken quick strides across the room and stood before the fireplace. Grabbing the small mortar and pestle from the mantle, he tossed half back onto the shelf, favouring the small pot of floo powder. It was against the rules, but rules be damned. He had to get out of there. His fingers dropped the fine powder into the fire as if of their own accord, his lips formed the words, his feet brought himself forward and then he was suddenly, blissfully, alone. 

Stepping gracefully from the fireplace at Spinner’s End, he breathed a sigh of relief. Surely, this would be the one place no one would look for him. He had even orchestrated a fake sale years ago to ensure he always had one place where he could entirely disappear. He hadn’t used it until now - he much preferred the small flat in the south of France, but Severus couldn’t deny the peace he felt being in his childhood home at this very moment, knowing he had made a much-needed escape - a feeling he wasn’t sure had ever come from the place before.

Grabbing another book - purely a guilty pleasure this time, and completely uneducational - he settled again in his favorite chair, the silence here seeming somehow more absolute. He was utterly at peace, already having read a full chapter when the doorbell rang. “The light is off.” He shouted, grumbling under his breath about muggles and their silly traditions. Growing up in this house, in this muggle neighbourhood, and particularly as Lily’s friend, he knew all about trick-or-treating and the unspoken rules that came with it. No lights - no candy, so no trick-or-treaters. So who was at his door - and more importantly, why? Severus ignored it, shaking himself with a light sigh and settling back in. They’d go away when he didn’t answer.

But then the bell rang again. This was why wizards didn’t even install the damn things. He ignored it.

He grumbled, readjusting yet again as he tried to shake off his annoyance. He wouldn’t let a few muggle imbeciles ruin his night. He would outwait them, they would leave, and he would have his peaceful night back. 

But as the doorbell rang again, he realized he was wrong. He closed his book and slammed it down onto the small end table next to him, standing and making his way toward the front door with quick strides. But upon flinging it open, he could only simply stare in shock. 

“Potter?” He questioned, the name falling off his lips before he’d even decided to say anything. It was uncharacteristically without venom, the pure surprise enough to render him near speechless. It only lasted a moment, though, before he was angry. Without a word, he slammed the door in his face and stood on the other side, fuming. He turned finally, shaking his head in disdain and returning to his chair. 

But within a few moments, the bell rang again. He looked up sharply, in slight disbelief, even as it rang for a second time. He was across the room in an instant, nearly ripping the door off its hinges. "Potter!" He barked, fists clenching as he tried to fight the urge to reach out and wring the boy's neck. This time, he was carrying what looked to be an old pillowcase, holding it open before him in a silent question. How did he even know where he lived? It was impossible. "Stay away from me, you insolent brat." 

He slammed the door closed again, but this time, he never even made it to his chair before there was a knock on the wood. He took a deep breath, teeth clenching, trying to remind himself that he was too old to weather a stint in Azkaban. But when he opened it, his insults died on his lips and his brow furrowed. It was still Potter, but this time he had one of those horrid plastic pumpkins - a green one, half full of candy. "Take your cute little tricks somewhere else, boy, before I blast you into next week." He growled, shaking his head and turning around. 

But before the door even closed, the boy spoke. "Sir?" 

Severus whirled, bearing down on his former student, but then stopped. The pumpkin was gone, now replaced with a ridiculous plastic skull hanging from a flimsy plastic strap. But that wasn't what had caught his attention - not really. Transfiguring from one to the other would be simple enough even for Potter, who, as much as Severus hated to admit, was a fairly adept wizard. But his glasses were wrong - they were plastic, not metal, and more than that, his eyes weren't quite the right shade. He swallowed, hating himself for noticing, and took a step back. Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t sounded quite right, either. He was confused, a feeling he wasn't familiar or comfortable with. He closed the door, more gently this time, but still didn't move. He was certain this wasn't over, and within a few seconds, he was proven right. Opening it slowly, he took in the person on his doorstep. They looked like Harry Potter, but he was certain now that it wasn't, and as his eyes took in the all too familiar features, he realized this one's nose was far more narrow and had too many freckles. 

So someone was toying with him - but who? He found he didn't much care, having figured it out, he was now over it, but before he could slam the door again, another Harry showed up - one with a slightly lopsided smile. And then there were numerous Potters, and his eyes bounced back and forth over all of them - one too tall, one with hair that was a touch too light, one had no glasses, and yet another with a crooked scar. "Whoever you are, I will hex all of you if you ring my bell again." He growled, slamming the door and marching back into his home, now too worked up to even attempt to get back to his book. Instead, he went to the kitchen to fix himself some chamomile tea. Severus could at least find joy in something tonight, surely. Wordlessly warming his kettle, he leaned against the counter as his tea steeped. He heaved a weary sigh, unsure what he had done to deserve a fate such as this. Was it really so much to ask to be left to his own solitary existence? The war was over, he wasn't bothering anyone, surely no one needed anything from him anymore. All he wanted to do was brew, read, and enjoy a good bottle of scotch now and again. 

Bringing his cup to his lips, he closed his eyes as the steam washed over his features, the mere scent calming him already. One sip, however, was all he got to enjoy before the bell rang once more and the glass shattered beneath his grip. He didn’t bother to clean it up, broken pieces of ceramic crunching beneath his shoes as he marched back to the front door.

The hex was ready and off his lips as soon as he had pulled the door open, the shouted word hanging in the air as he stared at the new person on his doorstep. Minerva McGonagall, who had, thankfully, simply brushed the spell aside. They stood in silence for a moment before she finally broke it and cleared her throat. “Honestly, Severus.” He wasn’t a man who often felt shame, but right then, on his porch, looking his headmistress in the eye after trying to hex her off his stoop - he wanted to curl into his robes and never face another day on this earth. 

“Minerva.” He answered coolly, as if his night had been just like any other. There was another - shorter - tense silence between them before she spoke again, although he was fairly certain he caught the ghost of a smile pulling at her lips. 

“You will be back in the castle in ten minutes. You know the rules, and I expect you to follow them.” She stiffened her spine, straightening her outer robes as she prepared to leave once more. “I expect this sort of behaviour from my Gryffindors - not you.”  And with that, she was gone. Merlin, she knew how to hit him where it hurt. But she was right. He should have known this would never have worked - not with McGonagall in charge of the school. Where Albus may have let it slide time and again, she ruled with an iron fist.

With his weariest sigh yet, he apparated in her wake, forgoing the Floo Powder and deciding to enjoy what little solitude he could garner from a walk back to the castle and up to his rooms - after all, it was after curfew. He was only likely to run into Professors, and that, he thought, he could handle. 

The night was clear and brisk, and he actually felt rather hopeful as he made it from Hogsmeade to the gates, across the grounds and through the foyer without incident - not even running into an owl or a cat, let alone a person. Maybe the night really was on his side, finally. Maybe his hope for a quiet night with a book and a nightcap wasn’t so far out of his reach after all. 

Severus took the steps two at a time, almost humming to himself as he drew nearer and nearer to his rooms, licking his lips in anticipation. But as he turned the corner to the small hallway that housed the door, his good mood evaporated at the sight of dark hair and bright eyes coming toward him. Potter. But he couldn’t yell, or take house points, or any of his usual tricks since the man was allowed to be here now. He was a Professor, despite Severus’ many vocal misgivings. 

“Good evening, sir.” Harry greeted with a smile, tipping his head in the older man’s direction.

“Sod off, Potter.” Came the curt, malicious reply, leaving a somewhat shell-shocked defence professor in his wake as he stomped by, all the light-hearted spring in his step instantly gone. “Fucking Halloween.” 

[ohscorbus]

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child: Saturday 11th May, 2019

I think it goes without saying that seeing today’s show was an absolute honour. James Phoon, our lovely Craig Bowker (aaand everyone’s favourite Hufflepuff), FINALLY got to go on as Scorpius Malfoy. Now we’ve been talking, hoping, and begging for this for two years. Two years! Spoiler alert: it was worth the wait. ♥︎

So, who is his Scorpius? Well I initially summed him up in three words: sweet, strong, awkward. I stand by that. We’ve always said he’d be a total sweetheart, a child of sunshine and sweets. We weren’t wrong. But what really captured my attention was his strength. He didn’t feel vulnerable the way Jonathan’s Scorpius does (to me, anyway) and even when he was, I knew he could handle himself. There was something very Malfoy about him in that sense. You could almost see Draco’s influence. It was all there, intertwined with his own Scorpius-ness. It felt like something brand new but also exactly what you’d expect from Scorpius Malfoy. Watching him stand his ground and push back on Albus, and then awkwardly play with his hands and squeal in delight over something geeky in the next breath. It was the perfect mix which made for a fascinatingly brilliant interpretation and one I’d have loved the chance to explore further. I can only imagine where James would have taken him if he was already here at show one. 

ACT ONE, SCENE FOUR: THIRD YEAR

I absolutely adored his approach to the scene where he tells Albus about Astoria’s death. Instead of looking down at the ground or focusing on Albus, he angled himself our way and stared out as if he was looking out of the train window. Yet his unfocused and glistening eyes told us he wasn’t really seeing anything beyond the glass. It made me wonder if he’d have stayed like that all the way to Hogwarts if Albus hadn’t have found him because even once Albus had arrived and started talking, Scorpius barely blinked. He spoke back but he never took his eyes off the view. It broke my heart. He couldn’t write those words and now he has to say them. I don’t blame him for not wanting to see the sorry on Albus’s face. He remained in that position until he suddenly turned towards Albus as he asked him to be his good friend. The fact that it’s that line that pulls Scorpius back into the world says so much about him. His friendship with Albus is what grounds him. It’s what he needs to get through this.

Also, unrelated to James but I have to call out Ryan in the wand dance. So you know how Albus fails at the very end and his wand shoots out the powder instead? Well while the other kids mocked him, Ryan just stood at the back, looking at his own wand, and wondered aloud: “how did he do that?” The look of confusion on his face and the fact the question seemed so genuine had me laughing so hard I wheezed. I’ve been saying it ever since. (Plus I like the idea that someone out there is impressed. Even if it was an accident. Bless him.)

ACT ONE, SCENE NINETEEN: BEATING THE LIBRARY

I just have to mention Jamie B here because his version of James’s Scorpius was absolutely superb. Like, A+. 10/10. Five gold stars. We gushed at him afterwards and he said he only got to watch James for a few scenes that day before having to go on and do this scene. I’m still wildly impressed at this man’s talent. 

ACT TWO, SCENE SIX: HOGWARTS THROUGH THE TREES

This scene always stands out to me. There’s a certain kind of magic to it that sets it apart from the others. We come to the theatre, or pick up the book, or watch the movies, to visit Hogwarts. Yet in this scene, it’s those at Hogwarts who turn to watch us to see this world. It gives me goosebumps every time. I never feel as part of the magic as I do when I’m watching this scene. For that reason, it’s so interesting to watch the actors reacting to that view. Of seeing that magic, of all of us on this journey with them. There’s time there where they literally don’t say anything. They just stand and look and without fail, it exposes the true extent of their Harry Potter love. It doesn’t matter how good of an actor you are, there are some emotions you cannot fake. The beauty of the Palace Theatre itself and the realisation of pretty much being ‘Harry Potter’ (but better) in this moment has caused so many of them to well up. Now James P’s love for HP is common knowledge. He’s a very proud Hufflepuff who beat his losing streak in the Friday Forty by joining the cast in the second year. (I have so much respect for that haha.) So as you can imagine, the second we all saw his eyes glistening as he stepped forward we all cried with him.

ACT TWO, SCENE SEVEN: FIRST AU

Now you know the Malfoys are my favourites (apart from Albus, he’s still my number one), so seeing how Draco and Scorpius interact is pretty high on my list of priorities. I was on the edge of my seat for this scene today! So anyway, the adults run on stage and Draco immediately zones in on his son but Scorpius stays focused on Albus. I think it was partly because Albus was very obviously in quite a lot of pain, and I’m also fairly sure he was actively trying to avoid the look on his dad’s face too. He’s in trouble and he knows it. I just hope he also knows how worried his dad has been too because that is also evident on his face.

ACT TWO, SCENE TEN: WRONG BOY IN THE WRONG CARRIAGE

So for anyone who’s not seen the show, this scene has the adults talking around McGonagall’s desk with both staircases back to back behind them. They sort of frame the scene and enclose them to give the impression they’re in a room. Now while this scene plays out, Scorpius is sat on the right staircase behind/above them. Now I’ve never been fully convinced either way as to whether it means Scorpius is eavesdropping on their conversation or whether he’s there simply as a reminder of what’s at stake. Either way, Scorpius is usually uncharacteristically still as they speak. You could easily forget he’s there. So it was super interesting to see James decide to keep moving his hands as Scorpius would. It made you more aware of the fact even if he’s not part of the conversation, he is part of this. Everything that is being said directly affects him. This boy that’s sat in the darkness alone and showing signs of uneasiness. It made Harry’s misguided anger feel even worse.

ACT TWO, SCENE TWELVE: STAIRCASE BALLET

This is a random observation and probably not the one you want but for some reason, the image of him sitting on top of the staircase with his legs hanging down is stuck in my head. I just love it? I'm so used to Scorpius sitting up there cross-legged and looking down at Albus longingly and so full of hope. To see something different was refreshing! It was almost like he missed Albus walking beneath him at first and then as he seemed to realise, he quickly jumped up and ran back to the banister to catch him as he walked up the other staircase behind him. Although thinking about it now, that’s even sadder? The fact he doesn’t spot him immediately. Did Scorpius start to give up? It would explain his frustration at Delphi a few scenes later. Being confronted with the notion that Albus needs him when in fact it’s clearly him that needs Albus. A hard truth to learn when his best friend has all but abandoned him. It’s interesting to imagine a Scorpius trying to learn how to survive school (and life) without Albus at this point. Maybe that’s what Delphi sees. That’s why she risks everything because she can’t have Scorpius being so Malfoy about this and surviving. She needs him to fight for Albus. She needs them together.

Or maybe it’s just simply because Albus is always so quick to run off or change direction to avoid Scorpius so that when he does literally past right underneath him here it’s like Scorpius doesn’t believe it. Like he can’t trust his own eyes. But then it registers and of course he’s immediately up and after him. It’s definitely a much nicer idea. But I’ll let you decide...

ACT TWO, SCENE SIXTEEN: THE ARGUMENT

Now this is a library scene! I personally always prefer a Scorpius that gets so uncontrollably angry he properly shouts in this scene. I want him to finally explode after years of imploding. James P did not let me down. There was no mistaking his frustration. His “try my life” silenced the theatre. The pain in his “can you even slightly imagine what that’s like” exposed Albus. The next lines were unnecessary. Albus already felt two foot tall. Then his “giving sympathy to the boy WHO DOESN’T EVEN GIVE ANYTHING BACK” gave me goosebumps. This is my Scorpius. He had the whole audience in his hands. Even the annoyingly loud lady behind me was captived enough to stop using her Pringles as maracas! Wayhey!!! But all jokes aside, watching this sweet boy stand up to his best friend and speak without knowing if Albus would stay at the end of this was heartwrenching. But he’s right, some things are more important. I think this hits him here finally and his voice and anger dips as he said, ”so I’m sorry if I’ve ruined your life because I tell you - you wouldn’t have a chance of ruining mine - it was already ruined.” Each pause brought more emotion until finally he exploded with anger again for ‘the most terrible friend’ line. I can still see his face so clearly in my head as he shouted that at Albus. He had, what I can only describe as his ‘angry eyebrows’ on, and he meant it. The unwavering glare he gave Albus was cold and cruel. It was glorious. I have this thing about getting glimpses of what could be the Scorpion King. I love it. Now I know our Scorpius isn’t that person and nor is he capable of the things he is, but watching him use his words to cut Albus down was like a flash of what could be. If anyone in the theatre still had any doubt this boy was a Malfoy, they wouldn’t have after this scene.

But back to the height thing. We’re used to Scorpius having some height on Albus and it being visibly noticeable. Yet this was the one time I actually felt it, despite the fact that James and Joe are roughly the same height. He just had such a big presence on stage once he’d stopped holding back. The flashes of anger, fuelled by unimaginable pain, concealed for reasons that would only hurt you further if you learned them. There’s so much more to Scorpius Malfoy than sweets, and it breaks my heart.   

Of course this all led to a truly heartfelt apology from Albus. It felt softer than usual. Or maybe it just seemed that way after Scorpius’s sharpness. It was beautiful to watch them equal each other out. There’s always a balance with these two and it’s never more obvious than here.

Oh and the hug! This was the most awkward hug I’ve ever witnessed. Basically, Albus pulled him up and tried to bring him straight into a hug but Scorpius put his hands up and froze. (Think Surprised Kitten.) That didn’t deter Albus though. He tried to work around it (by which I mean he still kept his arms out and half around Scorpius trying to coax him into it) but Scorpius was not moving. Oh and FYI, it wasn’t a ‘I’m uncomfortable with this’ kind of thing. It was definitely a ‘I don’t know what to do here’ kind of thing! In the end, Albus motioned with his hands for Scorpius to come closer and gave him an encouraging head nod along with it. That finally did it and the two hugged. It was super sweet with five layers of awkwardness and I loved it. Especially given how determined Scorpius looked when he said ‘always’. It’s fascinating how Albus is a source of both confidence and the unknown to him. His range of reactions will never stop entertaining me.

ACT TWO, SCENE NINETEEN: GIRLS’ BATHROOM

So the soap didn’t inflate and I’m only mentioning this because Albus’s response was just, “nevermind”, and he carried on. NEVERMIND. It’s not like if you get this wrong then the whole plan falls through or anything, Albus! This boy. Honestly. He’s a jumbled mix of accepted failure and confident stubbornness and I’m here for that.

ACT THREE, SCENE TWO: VOLDY TIMELINE

There was a really great parallel moment here where he was in the middle of the stage, facing the audience and looking at Hogwarts. Just like he was during the ‘Hogwarts through the trees’ scene. Yet the difference between these two looks spoke volumes about how different this version of Hogwarts was. The last time he looked in awe. He was happy to be there and proud to be at that school. But now he looked back at it over his shoulder and his eyes spoke of bone deep fear.

This Scorpius played the role of Scorpion King quite impressively. He was able to rein in a lot of his Scorpius-y mannerisms for longer than Jonathan’s Scorpius manages. It was more in line with Samuel’s Scorpius, if not better. It’s exactly what I expected of this Scorpius after part one. Draco may have failed to instil leadership in him but he’s definitely picked other things up.

ACT THREE, SCENE THREE: DRACO’S OFFICE

He went for what I can only describe as a ‘pitifully wounded trapped animal’ approach to being held down on the table. I felt it like a stab to the heart. He just collapsed into the desk and his legs looked like they were going to buckle. He looked so small it hurt. But if that wasn’t bad enough, once he’d got free he ran backward holding the side of his face and let out the saddest little whimper. He made no attempt to hide the fact he’d been hurt. I’m glad. I think Draco needed that. Scorpius too. I don’t think he’s tempted to stay in this reality but this affirms his need to change it back. He may be struggling with his dad but he knows enough to know that he wouldn’t want this. His mother either. He’s aware of his past but he’s also aware of his present. He’ll save the world for Albus, but he’ll change it for his family.

ACT THREE, SCENE FOUR: ALL THE CRAIGS

I’m not gonna lie, I spent this entire scene being alarmed by the fact the person I’ve watched as Craig for the past two years was now suddenly interacting with Craig. I wonder if that was weird for him too…

ACT THREE, SCENE FIVE: LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS

I love how his ‘you loved his mother’ seemed to escape from him without intention. He instantly became nervous and unsure as to whether he should have mentioned it. But he presses on and he slowly regains his confidence the longer Snape is quiet. It made me think about how important this moment is for Scorpius. He’s been in this AU for (presumably) days now and I can’t imagine the horrors he’s seen. But he never gives up hope and now there’s a light. Even in this world of darkness, Scorpius is not alone, and love will win once more. I know he loves reading about it in his history books but experiencing this first hand must inspire and empower him more than just the fact he survived this world.

ACT THREE, SCENE EIGHT: DEMENTORS

He really put his all into his interactions with the Dementors which I will always love an actor for. These creatures are mentally draining, affect you physically and emotionally, and are hard to detach from. There’s no fancy CGI of the movies here and honestly, they don’t need it anyway. James portrayed all of that brilliantly. (Dementors are my favourite HP creatures of this made me very happy!)

ACT THREE, SCENE NINE: CAREFUL, YOU’RE DROWNING ME!

Having seen all the reluctance and nervousness in the previous hugs, I was a little bit unsure of what to expect with this one since it’s the first hug Scorpius instigates himself. I shouldn’t have worried. The hug was short but Scorpius threw himself into it without hesitation or any hint of uncertainty afterwards. It was lovely and a true testament to his character. He could have come back from the Voldy AU angry and damaged but instead he focuses on his relationships. It reminds me of that quote from HBP: “You're the one who is weak. You will never know love or friendship. And I feel sorry for you.” Scorpius is awkward and bullied. He’s hurting and lonely. He must appear weak to just about everyone, but they’re wrong. To be dealing with all of that and still have such a pure love for magic and life and all the people in it? It’s incredible and beyond brave to choose love time and time again. I think we could all learn a thing or two from Scorpius Malfoy. He’s the bravest person I know.

ACT THREE, SCENE FOURTEEN: THE DORM SCENE

This was so heavily influenced by Samuel’s Scorpius that I instantly broke down in a flood of tears and sobbed my way through this scene (and the next few). He woke Albus up with an ‘Al-boos’ and then he even pulled his duvet up and wrapped it around his face as he said Mouldy Voldy. It was beautifully painful in the best and worst ways. None of us were prepared. I just never expected to see those things again but it also reminded me (like I could ever forget, ha!) how well they work. I mean, I may have been crying uncontrollably but everyone else was laughing along at his ridiculousness. It was like his sugar high had just kicked in. Malfoy the Unanxious was really loving life in this moment. 

One thing that stood out in particular was the way he said the pun at the end. It was full of dramatic pauses (“It’s time.. that time turning… became a thing… of the past”) and he said it so seriously. This Scorpius has skills. The pride on his face afterwards made it even better. I like that he can give as good as he can get with dry humour and Albus. He’s clearly picked up a thing or two over the years. I can only imagine what they’re like together once they’ve got started. Total Slytherins. 

ACT THREE, SCENE NINETEEN: TORTURE SCENE

I have to admit, I kinda just lost myself in this scene and enjoyed it so I have very few notes. Other than that he made this painfully sad whimper when Delphi turned her wand towards him and he realises that’s how she’s going to control Albus. But then the second time she does it he remains silent. He knows what’s coming but he’ll endure (and not give her the satisfaction) if it means stopping her. Although he didn’t hide his pain afterwards. He looked and sounded like he was in agony. I’m a big fan of that. (Sorry Scorpius!)

It was also really jarring again to see James P watch Craig Bowker die in this scene. Scorpius consciously tried to avoid looking at Craig’s dead body too and that somehow made it worse?

ACT THREE, SCENE TWENTY: YOUR DAD LOVES YOU, VERY MUCH

I always watch Scorpius’s face as Albus says this line. So Jonathan’s Scorpius always looks across at Albus in panic, like he’s about to expose what’s about to happen to Cedric and ruin time. Then once he realises he’s not, he deflates and simply watches Albus with such love. He knows what those words would mean to Albus, so for him to say them to Cedric, making sure it’s the last thing that Cedric hears before he dies, it makes him look at Albus like he’s seeing him for who he truly is. A boy whose heart convinces his head to act. That may have gotten them into this mess but Scorpius likes that about him. This moment is a reminder of that. So much has happened. The arguments, their falling out, their losses, their wounds exposed. But this seems to bring him back down and closer. It’s so incredibly touching. It made me super intrigued to see what James would do with it. Unsurprisingly, I was not let down. The emotion on his face just broke me. I’m not sure if it’s because of what he knew would happen, and must happen, to Cedric. The burden of that so soon after Craig must have been awful. Or whether it was hearing those words himself and thinking of his own dad that caused those feelings to overpower him. But it was beautifully painful to watch. It’s such an emotionally powerful moment. To see him physically uncomfortable, unable to sit still as he’s flooded with these feelings, truly brought home how young they are to be dealing with all this too.

ACT FOUR, SCENE THREE: SQUEEEAK!

I’m not sure I’ve mentioned this already but his voice got really light and wispy whenever he was really happy. Like whatever was happening had taken his breath away. Usually it’s Rose’s doing but here it’s aaallll Bathilda. It started the second he realises she’ll be alive and in that house right now. It only escalated once she’d walked out and he’d seen her. His voice went so high and his squeak could have cracked glass. He was so unashamedly geeking out.

ACT FOUR, SCENE FIVE: FANBOY

Also, it’s super important you know this ubergeek kept letting out these really high pitched squeals of delight as this scene went on. It was like he never came back down from the high of seeing Bathilda. He did it once they’d figured out their plan and then again when he opened Bathilda’s door. That one was an actual shriek. He showed no shame. Good.

A little Scorpius-y quirk for you: he was continually fiddling with his clothes. Here it was the bottom of his coat. Probably the zipper? When he was in his uniform he favoured the ends of his sleeves.

ACT FOUR, SCENE EIGHT: WE CAN HUG TOO

So to anyone who’s read any of my recaps before, you may remember how I mentioned that Jonathan’s Scorpius has very noticeable anxiety issues. At times he struggles to catch his breath and how it’s something both Draco and Albus help him with throughout the show. (Although sadly he’s definitely toned this down a lot recently.) Anyway, I’m bringing this up now because after Draco and Scorpius hugged, Draco always keeps his hand on Scorpius’s shoulder. Presumably to keep him close but to also focus him on his breathing. It’s a really touching moment that tells you everything about how loving and caring this little family is. But since this is a different Scorpius I wondered what James H would do here. Interestingly, he didn’t change a thing. Now I’m thinking this shared moment isn’t just about Scorpius. It’s also about Draco. I’ve talked before about why I think Draco is constantly rubbing his fingers together. That I believe it’s a stress/anxiety thing, and how I think he uses that as a way of channeling and restraining it. It’s useful as a parent to recognise and understand something your child is going through, and it explains why James H still had Draco do the same actions today with James P’s Scorpius. Because his Scorpius didn’t need that sort of help so obviously. So the idea that his exaggerating breathing isn’t just for Scorpius to copy, but for himself too makes sense. I can’t imagine the stress of what losing Scorpius must have felt like. To finally have him back again, right in front of him, I’m sure he needs to remember to breathe again too. Or rather, the reminder he can breathe now. They’re together. That’s all that matters.

James P made this even more lovely by reaching out for Draco back. So while Draco had his hand on Scorpius’s shoulder, Scorpius cupped Draco’s other elbow and held on for a while. That was really nice!

ACT FOUR, SCENE ELEVEN: DUELLING WITH DELPHI

So after Delphi has been stopped, everyone is stood either side of her with their wands pointed right at her. The fight is over but they don’t let their guard down. Now from the angle at which my seat was at, I got this wonderful view of Albus, Ginny, Harry, Scorpius, and Draco all stood in a line. They’re all stood rigidly with their wand arms up and perfectly straight. They look determined and ready. But then in the middle of the line up is Scorpius. He stood out today because his arm was relaxed and low. His wand was still pointed at Delphi but his stance was as far from threatening as you can get. Understandably really, given that the adults are in the room and the fact she’s restrained and he’s holding her wand. He doesn’t need to fight. But then as soon as Harry says he won’t kill her, everyone lowers their wands and relaxes and takes their eyes off Delphi. Everyone except Scorpius. His wand was still at waist height but it never wavered and remained directed at her. He never even looked away from her. I was on the edge of my seat. This is a Scorpius who could have easily hidden behind his father (Jonathan’s Scorpius), or been afraid to hold Delphi’s wand (Samuel’s Scorpius). But no, he points her wand straight back at her and never falters. He’s lived in the world she wants. He’s suffered through rumours she claims as an identity with pride. He’s seen what this wand has done. Yet he pulls all that together and stares her down. Afraid, but brave.

It’s not until the real Voldemort’s voice calls out that he breaks his concentration. He reacts to the danger by finally moving towards his dad. Although I have no doubt if he hadn’t then Draco would have gone to him.

ACT FOUR, SCENE FOURTEEN: CRUSHES

He said ‘smokey eyed potions professor’ in this croaky, elderly lady voice and held up his hands as if he was holding onto a zimmer frame and it was hilarious! Easily my favourite way I’ve ever seen someone do this line. By implying that the professor is that much older he’s actually taken this teasing to a whole other level and I love him for it.

After all, a teenage boy having a crush on a middle aged female teacher isn’t unusual. But the idea that Scorpius is winding Albus up about him fancying a pensioner is just too funny. I can just imagine the joy it brings Scorpius, getting to wind Albus up about this through potions class and beyond. Albus, torn between being the kind hearted boy that he is and helping her move the heavier cauldrons, and wishing she’d just for once use her wand because the look on Scorpius’s face when she tells him he’s a ‘very good young man’ is most definitely going to be parroted back to him for the next week in jokes. So thank you James for this. I shall enjoy imagining your Scorpius teasing him endlessly in the way only best friends can.

I so wish more of you could have seen him because my words could never do him justice. I have no doubt you all would have loved him. James was fantastic, and not only that, he reminded you of how much time and effort all the cast put into this show. Whether they have three hundred lines or whether they have three. James had this beautiful, fully formed character that he knew would probably never see the light of day. Yet he took him on this new journey and fleshed him out ready. I only really got into theatre because of Cursed Child so while I knew this was the case with all understudies/swings, actually seeing it from a second cover made me realise the true extent of it. There’s an immeasurable amount of talent in this cast and we barely scratch the surface with so many of them. I’m sad we won’t get to see this Scorpius again, but I’m excited to see where James goes in the future.

(Oh and just so you know, my Jonathan and Samuel comparisons are purely to help give you a better idea of what James was like. I’m not saying one is better than the other. Each interpretation is so different and I love all three of them! I just want to give you the clearest idea I can and this way is easier if you’ve seen the show and you’re already familiar with one or both of these actors.)

[la-fille-en-aiguilles]

Half As Good As You (1 / 2)

Jax Teller x Female Reader

A/N: I know i’m late to the party, but I am finally catching up with Sons of Anarchy, also known as one of the greatest shows ever made. I absolutely adore it, for so many reasons (Charlie Hunnam obviously being one of them). Jax Teller is such a promising character, with such an enormous literary potential, I couldn’t resist. 

This two-part story is loosely based on Tom Odell’s song “Half As Good As You”. 

Please enjoy, feedback is appreciated if you feel like leaving something. 

Warnings: a lil’ bit of angst and heartache. 

What a spectacular day for murder, you thought, grabbing your Balenciaga bag from the passenger seat right next to you, your cold take-out coffee’s smell still hanging in the confines of your car.

Charming welcomed you back with cloudless, infinite azure and blinding yellow sun, an airplane chalking a line on the canvas of the sky above your head.

Swinging that bag over your shoulder, you let your gaze wander back to the house in front of you; the empty driveway, those colorless roses and the unwelcoming cold blue paint that you never thought you’d see again.

Your sister might have lived in that house now, but the vibe of it hadn’t changed much - it still stank of bleach, burned leather and filthy secrets. 

And to think you were to spend a weekend in these walls, where every little detail, everything - reminded you of him.

It felt like it had been ages; all your memories were just some stories someone had told you at some point, with no beginning and no end, pages ripped from old dusty journals for which no one had a care in the world anymore.

You lied, of course, when you told your sister if you’d come down it’d strictly be out of the goodness of the heart. Over the phone, you insisted on not wanting to leave the house before the wedding - that fucking house you hated the most in the entire world, that gas chamber in which you knew you’d have trouble to breathe - because you’d only come to watch her kids, while she gets drunk & partially naked before she ties the knot.

The sound of a roaring engine a few blocks away interrupted your train of thought as shivers ran down your spine, your fingers gripping steering wheel so hard your skin turned white.

Coming to Charming was a mistake.

Leaving the city in the first place was a choice, with which you’d learned to live.

Or so you thought.

Dawns were always the worst.

The subtle shift of light at around five in the morning gave the shit in his room back its color: the deep navy of his crumpled sheets, striking whites, yellows and greens of his underwear, scattered around, and the soft amber of the dresser, with framed pictures on top.

Jax would look at these colors perfect themselves, come out in all of their intensive glory, yet this would never amount to anything - no change in his black-and-white routine.

The rising sun later chose the best angle for its mindful rays, whitening out the faces on those photos. Most of the time, if Jax would let his eyes slip over the paper’s polished surface - accidentally, he kept telling himself - all he saw was perfect squares of bright light, the sun doing the job his brain couldn’t - saving him all the heartache.

The morning would paint his misery a new, less lethargic color as he’d drink his coffee at the bar, surrounded by his brothers, all laughing and talking in hoarse, morning voices. That would shake him up a little, the claws of last night’s dreams letting go some. Those dreams died eventually, but the nightmare of reality went on, and sometimes it was difficult for Jax to tell one from the other.

He didn’t know it yet, but today was going to push his coping mechanisms to a whole new level.

Sitting at the bar, his long fingers wrapped around a big cup of coffee, Jax kept digging holes in the middle of a microwaved cherry pie with a table spoon. He wasn’t hungry, but he knew he had to get some food into him - the day promised to be busy and chaotic, he’d get lucky if he got a chance to eat before dinner.

“Aye, Jackie-boy, any news from Ope?” Jax slowly registered Chibs’ words as the Scot called for his attention, carefully sipping on his steamy tea.

It took a moment for Telford’s words to settle in; retrieving his phone from the side pocket of his sweats, Jax powered the display.

“Yeah, he’s...”

Words stuck in his throat, a lump he tried to push down, swallowing hard. He dropped the phone flat on the bar table, the sound deafening. Inhaling deeply, Jax brought one of his hands up to rub his eyes, his elbow knocking over the cup of lukewarm coffee.

The drops of brownish liquid landed on your face, smiling at him from his phone, with Opie’s kids on either side.

Y/N’s in town. I’m sorry, man, we didn’t think she’d actually show. I’m on my way.

‘He’s on his way.’

Wiping his phone with the white t-shirt he still wore from last night, Jax scrolled down to see if Opie sent more of that stunningly pretty, makeup-free face of yours.

Winston didn’t.

It didn’t really matter, because one look at you had already sent his imagination reeling, his heart twisting in regret while beating ten hundred miles a minute.

You were back in Charming. The idea seemed outrageous, his thoughts even more so.

Maybe, it was a sign. Maybe, this was his past coming around to give him another shot to do this different. Better.

Maybe you two could work the shit out in the end of the day, maybe... maybe you came back for him.

“Hey Prospect, clean this shit up, will you?”

Grabbing his phone from the table, Jax motioned towards the black puddle on the floor once he got Half-Sack’s attention.

Running his fingers through the dirty-blond mane of hair, Teller headed to his room to take a shower, wash those bullshit thoughts away.

That’s all they were. Bullshit.

Your arrival lit a match in his mind, anger consuming him quicker than fire licking at dry paper.

And to what end?

The anger would come and go, leaving not even a fucking hint of solace behind.

So would you.

You never got around to babysitting that evening.

Dua Lipa’s voice blaring from the speakers, you could feel your chest rumble to the rhythm. The place was swarming with people; the bar welcomed a big crowd tonight, and under flickering lights you zeroed in on a face now and again, pacing your evening by the number of people you managed to make out from the human drunken mass.

Donna was having the time of her life as she swayed her hips to the beat. Her cheeks a lovely shade of pink, she laughed at something your friend Chloe said, wrinkles in the corners of her eyes, silent witnesses of her happiness.

Fumbling with your Margarita, you watched your sister closely, trying to convince yourself it was okay. It was Harry she was marrying for God’s sake. That teddy bear of a man that’d kill for her if needed.

And that was exactly what didn’t sit quite well with you.

You threw your head back, finishing your drink in one single gulp. Slamming the glass against the bar, you motioned for the bartender to approach. The young man with a messy man bun flashed you a smile, silently asking what your next choice would be.

“Whiskey on the rocks,” you yelled over the music, leaning over the bar so he could hear you better. Smiling still, the guy nodded, getting to it right away.

You plopped back on your seat, scanning the crowd with your eyes, again, trying to pass the time.

The scene hadn’t changed much since the last time you checked - most of the faces remained the same, the only difference being the cloudiness in people’s stares and sloppiness of their movements.

Yet your eyes narrowed as soon as you caught a young, handsome man staring at you, averting his gaze as soon as you spotted him. You were pretty sure you had never met him, yet something about him felt familiar... and suspicious.

Paying for your whiskey, you slipped off the bar stool, and slowly made your way to Donna.

“I’m going to get some air,’ you screamed into her ear, the beat of the basses making your knees tremble. Donna looked at you for a moment, as if trying to figure out your motives. Then she quickly nodded, lightly squeezing your wrist before letting go.

Gripping your whiskey glass tightly in order not to spill its contents, you made your way through the shifting crowd and into the hallway, slowly but surely.

Just as you walked out from the bar area, you noticed that young man you caught staring before turning around on his heels, following you.

It was a fleeting moment kind of realization, as you noticed Prospect written in bold letters on the back of the kutte the guy was wearing. Immediately you squirmed, pushing your way out of the bar with your elbows, slamming your glass on one of the unoccupied tables as you advanced.

“Shit,” you cursed, your eyes dashing around in search for a place to hide as soon as you reached the hallway.

You were being fucking followed. From the very fucking beginning. And by whom? By the Sons of Fucking Anarchy.

That would definitely up the number of candidates on your list for a well-deserved one night stand.

Thank God they didn’t think of sending someone bigger and meaner-looking, like Tig. Then your chances of getting laid tonight would have been non-existent, with the blue-eyed biker following you around like a shadow... shadow of death.

You froze at the thought, your mind painting the reaper tattoo before your eyes, angry black traits marking Jax’ ripped back.

The Prospect didn’t stay inside with Donna. It’s you he’d been told to follow around.

Clutching both of your fists in a sudden wave of anger that hit you like a speeding train, you muttered obscenities, your chest heaving.

Trying to swim against the current was useless at this point - you couldn’t change the way things were in this town years ago, why jump headfirst into that fight all over again? - yet two could play this game, you thought, Jax fucking Teller.

“Hey there, beautiful,” you were so lost in your thoughts, your eyes drilling a hole in the marble floor, you hadn’t noticed a pair of bright classy purple shoes walk out of the men’s restroom. Your eyes instantly flicked up to face a handsome stranger with deep grey eyes and a three-day black stubble on his razor-sharp cheekbones. The stranger smiled at you warmly, slipping both of his hands in the pockets of his expensive-looking jeans.

Bingo, you thought, mix of liquid courage and adrenaline spilling into your veins.

“Hi,” giving him a half-smile, you threw a quick glance over your shoulder.

Damn Prospect was watching you through the small dirty window in the door.

Grabbing the stranger by the lapels of his leather jacket, you pulled him in, your lips smashing against his.

You couldn’t even register one thing at a time, whirlwind of sensations and puzzle-like thoughts flooding your mind. He smelled of leather, cigarette smoke and musk, a sinful mix so familiar your stomach ached in an overwhelming need to stain yourself with it; steal it, carry it. The only thing stopping you was the absence of an important undernote, something sugary and spicy like oud or patchouli...

You figured it out in a matter of seconds, and even though the detail was bound to ruin everything, you still tried. Tried to fool yourself.

Even though his lips were a little too full for your liking. A little too soft. A little too innocent. A little too different from what you loved.

With your eyes closed, you bit his bottom lip, focusing on the way his rough cheeks felt against the palms of your hands as you cupped his face.

He didn’t bite back. He didn’t grab your hips with his hands, pulling you in closer. He didn’t moan into your mouth.

You didn’t click and that was that.

You still tried.

Holding on to that familiarity of rough beard under your fingertips, his scent completely engulfing you, you thought whether he hollowed his cheeks when he inhaled the smoke. He wasn’t a manual worker - you could tell from the softness of his touch as he positioned one of his hands on the nape of your neck. Exactly, positioned - that was the word. To describe a nearly mechanic movement of those soft little fingers.

Probably ain’t that good with his hands, darlin’ - Jax’ shit-eating grin appeared before your eyes for a millisecond, exactly the time it took for you to try and get a hold of yourself again.

You tried.

Your eyes fluttered open as the stranger rolled his tongue over your bottom lip - a little provocation that made you lose your mind back in the day. This time it felt like an ice-bucket full of water being dumped on the top of your head. It felt invasive, arrogant and wrong. It felt wrong, fault of his lips, his smell, his cheeks... Fault of him not being who you wanted him to be.

The stranger kissed you with his grey eyes open. And it shouldn’t have mattered at all - for all you knew, you’d have never seen him again - but it fucking did; the man you wanted always closed his eyes with your lips on his.

‘Hey, could you...’ you whispered, your lips still touching his. ‘Could you please close your eyes?...’

No answer followed. The stranger moved his head a little, confused look of those grey eyes settling on your face.

You ransacked your mind for something to say that could justify the shitty stunt you pulled; nothing came out. Luckily, the outside world came knocking soon enough.

‘Y/N!’ swinging the door to the bar open, Donna and her flushed and happy face came into view. ‘We’re doing shots, you with us?’

‘Yeah!’ you answered a little too quickly, relief in your voice almost tangible. ‘I’m coming’.

You gave the stranger a sympathetic look before letting go of his jacket.

‘I’m sorry,’ you told him blankly, not sure what kind of emotion he’d expect from you, given the context. ‘It was nice meeting you, uh...’

‘Gabriel’, he filled in, his lips still raw from the kiss you shared.

‘Gabriel,’ you repeated, knowing you’d forget his name the moment you’d turn away. ‘See you around, I guess’.

Just as you left the man with purple shoes behind, following Donna, you noticed the Prospect by the bar. He caught your eyes and gave you an uneasy smile.

For a spy, the guy isn’t exactly hiding, you thought. Biting the inside of your cheeks, you decided to finish what you started for once and headed his way.

Nighttime had always been the time for his demons to come out to play. To bring out the worst in him.

Tonight, however, felt different.

The night was silent, save for the car engines revving miles away from Teller Morrow. Stars dotted the inky sky, their shine so bright they looked like holes in heaven’s floor.

Jax’s mind was clear – not a single stray thought corrupting the peacefulness of the moment. The roof may have trembled under his feet, good old tunes rocking the walls of the club, but he heard none of it, not a single note. Hollowing his cheeks, he took a deep drag of his cigarette ; the smoke eddied coolly down his throat, until he puffed it out slowly – milky white and circular.

This stillness was new to Jax, the feeling of time rolling by in its silent and endless way soothing him. He wallowed in it for a moment ; until the thuds of careful steps reached his ears.

Dumping the cigarette butt over the roof and straight down on the parking lot, Jax watched Opie’s impressive, broad frame block the harvest moon from the view, as he slowly climbed the stairs.

‘If this ain’t the man of the hour,’ Jax said, his lips bearing the semblance of a smile. ‘Tired of enjoying your last days of freedom yet?’

Opie chuckled quietly, making his way to his best friend. He shook his head slightly, taking a seat next to Jax, his eyes immediately drawn to the beauty that was the night sky.

‘I’ve belonged to Donna since forever, man,’ Opie shrugged, moonlight reflecting in his dark eyes. ‘This is just an excuse for boys to enjoy booze and pussy’.

Jax rolled his tongue over his bottom lip before biting on it, smiling knowingly.

‘Yeah,’ he let out, nodding slowly. Fumbling with his cigarettes, he offered one to Ope. Winston gladly accepted, lighting it up.

They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, listening to downtown Charming snore softly in its agitated sleep.

‘Saw you talking to Ima at the bar,’ Opie was first to break the silence, exhaling the smoke. ‘She still carries a torch for you?’

A crooked half-smile graced Jax’ face at the question; he slowly stood up, raising both of his hands and stretching, the hoodie he was wearing rolling up a tad, thus showing toned muscles.

‘Don’t even get me started on this one, man’, Jax shook his head, raising his eyebrows in desperate gesture. ‘She keeps pestering me about that old lady shit…’

Opie whistled, watching Jax lean over the roof barrier, and following him shortly.

‘Ima? An old lady?’ Opie repeated in disbelief, Jax watching him with a blooming smirk. ‘She’s really getting desperate ain’t she?’

Jax let out a booming laugh before staring down into the ground, his thoughts taking him elsewhere.

Comfotable silence settled over the roof again. It were as if the world had stopped, came to a much needed halt, yet both Jax and Opie knew the feeling wouldn’t last.

‘I don’t think I’ll ever get around to what you’re doing, Ope’, Teller suddenly confessed, unblinking, voicing the thoughts that’d been plaguing his mind for what seemed like ages. ‘How am I supposed to ask someone to just open themselves up to the neverending load of shit we’re dealing with on a regular basis? I deal arms, I sell porn, I hurt people. That’s all I’m good for. Who would ever want to be associated with this kind of psycho, huh? Maybe Ima is my end game.’

Jax smiled bitterly, stealing a quick glance at the Teller Morrow sign on his left, even unlit a painful reminder of who he was. Opie grabbed Jax’s shoulder, squeezing it tightly.

‘Bullshit,’ he protested, shoving Jax back a tad unintentionally. He looked Teller right into the eyes, holding that heavy stare of stormy blue orbs for a moment. ‘I know someone who did want that, Jax’, he finally said, letting go of his friend, sadness lacing his words. ‘You’re not asking for a goddamn moon’.

The Vice-President of SAMCRO sneered, biting on the inside of his cheek. Opie knew he took a plunge in dangerous waters with that statement, but he also knew he needed to put this shit Jax’d been going through ever since that fight of yours on the table.

‘Damn straight I am,’ Jax bit back roughly, not even trying not to rise to the bait. ‘That someone you know made sure I was aware of that,’ he spat, his voice dripping with anger.

‘You’re not being fair, man’ Opie stated sternly, taking a step back and shoving both hands into his jeans’ pockets, his eyes never quitting Jax’ face. ‘You both said things you didn’t mean that night. Besides,’ his voice softening up a bit, he continued. ‘Can you really blame her? After what we did to the A.T.F.?’

Jax scoffed, turning his head in Opie’s direction. The fire that anger lit in his eyes wasn’t quite gone yet, its sparks still lingering on the surface of Teller’s irises.

‘Donna didn’t seem to mind,’ he observed spitefully, turning around and leaning on the barrier, folding his hands across his chest, as if protecting his bleeding heart.

‘Donna doesn’t know!’ Opie retorted almost instantly. ‘That’s why I’m still marrying her on Tuesday!’ once the words were out of his mouth, he rubbed one of his hands against his beard, looking away, exasperated. ‘Y/N didn’t tell her shit’, he added quietly.

Gritting his teeth, Jax faced the barrier again, grabbing it with both of his hands. Rocking himself back and forth on his heels, he let out an irritated, rumbling sigh.

There was something in that sound of air pushing its way in between Jax’s lips that made Opie freeze; the fierceness of heartache behind it. Opie watched. He watched Jax’s face, as Teller bit the inside of his bottom lip, shaking his head, lowering his gaze – hiding those glossy baby blues of his.

Then he knew.

Jax’s anger was nothing but a shield for pain. Empty bravado. Signifying nothing.

Each word coming out of Teller’s mouth was an activated grenade; Jax was a soldier, cornered by his pain, scared, desperate and so damn lonely. Bitterness was his surviving mechanism. Little did he know that those verbal grenades he threw would eventually end up backfiring at him. And then that anger – that shield he carried – would clatter to the ground and the pain would hit him like a tsunami. Choking him. Drowning him.

‘I don’t care,’ Jax finally spoke, facing his best friend again. Strangled emotion seeped out of his words, only confirming what Ope had already knew.  ‘If I had to choose between Y/N and that A.T.F.’s wife again, I wouldn’t have done a damn thing differently. I will always choose Y/N.’

Protectiveness rang in Jax’s voice, like bullets falling on the ground. He eyed Opie almost threateningly, daring him to challenge his statement.

Opie nodded slowly, reassuringly. This simple gesture made Jax’s body relax a bit, as he rolled back his shoulders.

‘I know, man,’ Opie spoke calmly. ‘Y/N knows it, too, and she’s grateful, trust me. There was only one way to do it with her getting out alive,’ Winston frowned at the thought, watching the same kind of expression darken Jax’s features. ‘She now lives with the weight of two deaths on her shoulders, for God’s sake, cut her some slack.’

‘She didn’t pull that trigger on the A.T.F. when he came asking about his old lady, Ope,’ Jax rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands tiredly. He clearly did not want to have the same kind of conversation with Ope that he would have with himself in the darkness of the night. ‘I did’, he said, more to himself than to Winston, not even looking at his brother. ‘I killed him.’

Jax vocalized what he’d been telling himself ever since you left, forcing himself to believe that this – he – was the reason you two broke and could never be put together again.

‘Those two deaths are on me,’ he added, hoping his mind would be satisfied with the self-hatred audible in his confession. But it wasn’t. He knew the same thoughts would be back to haunt him in the night all over again.

‘This is on Mayans, Jax, all of it’, Opie tried to counter, watching Jax being submerged with the idea of who he thought he was. The idea that was, of course, complete and utter bullshit. ‘All you did was protecting your family. Protecting the club.’

‘Yeah, whatever’, Jax managed a small smile, almost free of bitterness. ‘It’s over, Ope. It’s done’.

Lowering his head, Jax searched for his cigarettes in his pockets, slapping his palms against the leather of his kutte. Finally finding what he’d been looking for, he took a Zippo lighter from Opie’s stretched hand and lit up the cancer stick.

Hollowing his cheeks, inhaling deeply, Jax raised his eyebrows at Ope, judging from his uneasy expression that he wanted to speak, but weren’t sure how to go about it.

‘You know it ain’t over, man’ Winston finally managed, his voice quiet and hoarse. ‘You still love her’.

The statement made Jax chuckle for some mysterious reason ; he threw his head back, slowly exhaling the smoke as it carressed his lips. Watching Ope with the same amused yet hard expression he learned to master, Jax spread his arms, as wide as they would go.

‘Yeah, well, I guess I’m shit out of luck then, ain’t I?’ a wicked smile grew on his mouth. ‘I’ll just have to find someone half as good as her, and that’s that. Consider myself lucky if I do.’

Opie huffed out a breath, looking away and down at the parking lot, shaking his head. Jax leaned against the roof barrier, taking another deep drag of his cigarette, dropping his gaze.

‘Or,’ Opie broke the silence all of the sudden. ‘You can just talk to her. Work this shit out’.

Jax gave his friend a sideways glance, a ghost of hope settling along the curves of his red lips.

‘She won’t see me, Ope,’ Jax’s words were contradicting his body language. He stood straighter, letting his chest open up as he leaned backfirst onto the barrier. ‘I’m dead to her’.

‘Guess she’s here to visit your grave then,’ Opie smirked, motioning towards the parking lot with a slight movement of his chin.

Jax’s immediate reaction was a deep, skin-creasing frown, his mind a surging perplexity. Opie could literally see the realization dawn on him, the walls he had spent all these years bulding high and deep crumbling at his feet. All it took was one look at you ; one look at that black car that brought you home.

Dread flashing in his blue eyes, excitement creeping up his spine, Jax didn’t even realize he’d been holding his breath for three minutes straight. His heart trying to escape the rattling cage that was his chest, Teller closed his eyes. Anticipation tingling through him like electric current, down to his Nike-cladded feet, he bit his bottom lip, regaining control over his body.

His blue sparkling eyes flashed in the darkness as Opie’s gentle, yet slightly mocking voice cut the tension like a knife :

‘If I were you,’ trying to keep the urge to smile at bay, Winston pursued his lips. ‘I’d hurry downstairs before Ima spots Y/N at the entrance…’

‘Shit !’ Jax hissed, already climbing down the stairs as fast as his feet would take him. In one adrenaline-fuelled jump he leapt towards the entrance door of the club, his brain on fast-forward and his heart skipping several beats at a time at the thought of seeing you…